My wife is barren, and my seed is weak. Alas, we remain a childless couple. The fates would have us living in a near empty household, if not for the generosity of a dear friend. Upon returning to my manse, I was delighted to hear sounds of children coming from my study. Were they my nieces and nephews? The cries of babes dashed that thought, for the offspring of my brothers and sisters are but a few years shy of adulthood. I ventured into my favourite room to find my wife at the computer. "Diaper Dash!" she exclaimed happily. Seeing my quizzical expression, she continued: "One of your Steam friends gifted it to you - thinking it would make a good prank." Laughing, I hugged my wife - both happy for her enthusiasm and the sounds of children in the house, digital though they might be. "You may be barren," said I, "but no longer is our house barren of the simple and modest joys of infants."
I then pulled up a chair and joined my wife in a 5-minute session of Diaper Dash. As one who is used to indepth strategy, I easily worked out how to play the game. Nor being no stranger to the demands of modern gaming I had no concerns with the level of multitasking required. Whilst the graphics are childish, music uninspired, and a lack of complexity in the gameplay, it more than makes up for the eternally sad fact that my partner and I are unable to have children. Hence, if your wife is barren, you can do no less a greater thing than to purchase Diaper Dash. Some would love their offspring to remain eternally youthful; I can assure, good sirs and madams, that this game (as expected, given the title) only deals with infants - and the tribulations associated with them.
However, if you indeed have children, or are expecting a child, I urge you to play the game, for to abstain would also remove you of the chance to become better at managing infants. In fact, I would hazard the opinion that maternity centres and colleges are less capable of educating you as a parent than this esteemed game.