Buy Fist of Jesus

It's just plain boring. I understand that I haven't played much of the game but the way the game is going I doubt there's gonna be some big awesome gameplay shift that makes the first hour slog any better.

Let me start off with the positives. The graphics are pretty nice, but they look a bit blurred and washed out, even on smaller resolutions. The premise of the game is pretty novel too, Jesus and Judas just fighting Zombies is a fun idea and the writing has given me one or two chuckles, which is more than I expected as I went in thinking this was gonna be an edgy /r/athiest kind of thing. Lastly, the soundtrack is pretty decent. Nice listening but nothing memorable.

Now for the bad. The most apparent issue is the painfully simplistic combat. You have a single "punch" attack, a throw attack and a few "super moves" that can be used with the 1/2/3 buttons respectively. The punch attack can be combo'd up to around 3 or 4 times with each hit being bigger and stronger and that's really it. While the animations make the attacks feel satisfying, especially when you destroy an entire horde of zombies in a single hit, it gets old, really fast.

So, its not a bad game but also not a good one either. I wouldn't pay 9.99 for it, but if you can get it on a bundle (like I did) then you can get some enjoyment out of it.

i cant believe how much fun i had and how hard i laughed while playing this game. the controls are great and the gameplay is pretty good for beat'm up standerds i think but omg the amount of fun i had in just 10 minutes is amazing.

In Fist of Jesus you play as Jesus and Judas as they kill zombies, zombie romans & cowboys, exploding lepers, and an octopus. Designed for smart-phones and ported to PCs, this game is a failure. It's not the subject matter that bothers me (aside from my dislike of zombies), it's the fact that the Fist of Jesus is poorly-designed, broken, and just plain unfun.

This game is divided into numerous short stages. There's typically some goal you have to achieve, like killing a certain number of zombies and/or getting a high enough score. For the most part all you really need to do is shut your brain off and press buttons. Like any poor beatemup, Fist of Jesus tends to be a mashathon. The mechanics are incredibly sloppy; some of the worst I've seen in the genre. J&J can get hit as long as they're close and facing the enemy, nevermind if they're far above or below them.

Like any "good" Android/IOS game, Fist of Jesus has a lot of meaningless grinding. You can level up J&J's punching abilities and their health, but they don't make a difference. Enemies tend to do and take the same amount of damage regardless. Bonuses are awarded upon level-up, but they're incredibly minor like -5% damage from bosses and -5% speed of the divine punishment.

As the game progresses, you're actually expected to turn your brain back on for the "No-Hit" stages. Yes, a game that I just described as having "some of the worst (mechanics) I've seen in the genre" expects the player to complete stages without getting hit. I should've known this would happen. At first it's not actually that bad, since J & J have special abilities like fire and explosions to keep everyone away. However, the game decides this wasn't bullsshit* enough so they force divine punishments on you. Divine punishments are basically fatalities, once you stun an enemy (this is random) you can finish them off with a properly-timed button-press.

Let me explain the point where I quit the game:
One stage forced me to divinely punish seven gun-toting zombies without getting hit. I was shot by a zombie facing the wrong direction. It was the most absurd thing to ever happen to me in a game. Was this the magical bullet that traveled around the world to hit me in the back? It's as logical an explanation as any other.

So...yeah. This is a broken game that shouldn't be bothered with.



*Usually I'd just let the censors do their thing, but I hated this game so much.

controller support is beyond abysmal
art is cute
looks like it might be fun if it was playable

speaking of playable, this POS wont run in 1080 in any graphics mode above good

this game isnt done

this game is 100% schlock value.

im not offended by the content, but the quality


finish this game. i want my 8 bucks back.

Awful and cheap mobile port. Controls are horrible. Daily rewards just like in Farmville or games like that. This game is an impudence. Don't waste your money on this.

What Happens in iOS Should Remain in iOS! [KAMGUSTA's REVIEW]

Yes, this is another iOS port, so it was thought for touchscreens and mobile devices.
You can feel it by playing: bad collisions, sluggish movements, daily rewards, small gamefield.
I didn't really like the "Scribblenauts" feeling of the characters neither the Christian humour (if there is any).
I had some fun for half an hour, then... delete.

Best played with Joypad
Recommended Buy Price < 2$
Score 5/10

The idea is pretty good, but the game does not deliver as it should. There are some funny elements if you are not a religious person, but I think it's not enough.

Pros
-Jesus
-Zombies
-Jesus and Zombies together

Cons
-No multiplayer, Coop or Local Coop (it should be a given in a game with little content as this)
-Gameplay is clunky (but very playable)

Definetly not worth 10 bucks. If you want to have it in your collection, .50-1 $ is about right

I really wanted to give this game a thumbs up. I really did. I couldn't. The game is broken. Besides the fact that it is 40,000,000x louder than any game should ever be on start up (I should send them the bill for the ear bleed) The game crashes constantly. If you press the a button on the contoller too soon during a cut scene the game crashes. If you try to window out while the game is in a match it will crash, paused or not. The controls are needing serious work and the audio IS WAY TOO GOD #%&(! LOUD! I seriously suggest you wait till this is fixed or you are wasting your time and money. CRASH CRASH CRASH LOUD *&%!@^# CRASH.

Thanks to this game I'll never have to go to church ever again! Righteous!

Even as a laugh, this game isn't competent enough at jokes, or even the English language, to catch a laugh.
At best, you might sit slack-jawed and confused for a few moments as you attempt to comprehend what you're looking at.

But honestly, this is just a bad game. Mediocre hit detection, weird pathing issues, and ultimately lackluster gameplay.