I am not recommending this game, and here’s why:
(For those who don’t like to read, skip to the end for the summary.)
After 5 minutes of adjusting the video settings, I've figured out that 1024x768 (on my screen at least) doesn't show the TEXT on the main menu buttons. I had to switch to the highest resolution possible to see them. That's about it when it comes to resolution, but what about the graphics? Well, they are not terrible. On max settings it looks like a decent game in 2005/2004. Well it doesn't have the ‘UnrealCryChromeEngine 8’ graphics like in ‘Return to Dead Island: Boat Flipping Zombies’. I actually kind of appreciate that they’re not ‘ChromeUnrealCryEngine 9’ graphics, because right now this game’s graphics remind of the good old gaming days back in 2005. Right in my nostalgia…
The audio... is just ok. I tried to make the dialogs louder, but I can't. I have to come up to the guy that's talking to me and grab his genitals to hear what he's saying. Thank you gaming god for the subtitles. The gun sound are 'Meh' which means: Ok. Not great, not bad, just OK. The good thing about the audio is that you can clearly hear when your Commando is tired from bobbing his head around while sprinting for 7 seconds. More or less 7, I didn't count. The voice acting however is not bad. It’s good. Wish I could hear it a bit louder though. The music is not bad either, although you can hear the where it loops, because it pauses for a brief second or so. My only problem with the music is that it never stops or changes for almost an entire level.
The gameplay is boring. Shooting enemies is boring. Firing your gun is boring. Right after you start the game you get a driving cinematic. You are not the driver though, you are holding the gun at the back of the truck, standing there patiently, unable to do anything besides looking around, until you get off of it. It would be fine, a good way to introduce you to the setting/story/characters or whatever, if it wasn’t soooo ssslllooooowwwww. I think I saw a cat walk by us and he was moving faster than us. That slow driving though had one positive thing in it though: I was able to get my tea and toasts, pour ketchup next to my toast and take a quick leak in the bathroom, without hitting my ESC key to pause the game. An achievement nonetheless!
There are too many turret and driving sections. It looks like this: go around, shoot 50 guys (your ammo doesn't end by the way, feels like infinite ammo) then you have to get on a turret, becuase your companion has to do something, or as he says it: "Time to get serious". Sometimes though, you have to sit on A MOVING turret! YAY! The only downside to that is: the driver decides to take a leisure drive through a warzone. Last time I checked, you don't drive like that through a warzone.
When you fire your gun it looks more like a Nerf gun for kids, rather than a real gun (I was at the shooting range and fired some guns with my dad, including the AK47 and the USP). The accuracy of ALL your weapons is terrible even if you aim with your sights, which seems to make it even worse (except for the sniper rifles). I had my sights on the guy that was ~25 meters away and missed. 5 times. With the handgun. Then 2 times with the scoped AK47. I finally killed him with the MP7.
The health indicator is there, it’s just very subtle. When you’re low on health the saturation goes down and makes your screen more black and white with more glare than the recent Star Trek movie. It’s basically blinding you, which doesn’t help considering how cheap the AI is. Oh yeah, we’re coming to it, but first: the head bobbing. It’s distracting especially when you’re moving while crouching or while you’re sprinting. It’s over exaggerated. Just a little too much.
The AI, at least for your friendlies is bad. Very. Bad. I stand in the open, ducking (thinking it would increase my accuracy, which it didn’t by the way), because my excuse for a companion took my cover. So I am crouched there, firing at a guy who is also standing in the open who is also firing at me and hits me a couple of times, whilst I my guy decides that the crosshair is a “restricted zone” and fires around him. Then my ‘companion’ gets out of his cover, ducks behind me and fires at a guy that I can barely see hiding behind a pipe. It would be ok if the ‘pipe-hiding guy’ was not behind the guy that I was firing, so of course, my ‘COMPANION’ had to fire through me. What. The. F.
Seriously, I saw my ‘teammates’ fire THROUGH EACH OTHER, because some they saw some bloke which they can’t even hit. Oh, by the way, did I mention that the accuracy of your teammates is compared to yours? If not worse? Well now you know.
But what about the enemy AI? When coming to tactics, it’s just as dumb as your teammates, firing through each other to get you. The only difference is that their accuracy is DEAD PERFECT. They miss about 15% of their shots. Even if you are behind a bush, the enemy is 100 meters away also behind a bush, you can barely see his arm, HE STILL HITS YOU. How does he even see you? HOW? And that’s on Easy. On hard, it’s even worse, because you take less hits before you die. The good thing about Easy is that you feel like a ‘bullet sponge’. I only die, because I can’t see the enemy, but they can see me no matter where I go. You think you can stealth this? Well hold on to your pantaloons, because you can’t. Most of the time. You take one step, the enemy is not even facing you, and they don’t know you’re there, you take another step an- ohmahgawdthey’reallfiringatme!
So that’s my experience with the Chernobyl Commando. I had somewhat fun with it, but it was mostly boring. It looks more like a mod for Half-life 2 rather than a game from 2013 and it looks like it was made by one guy. The price is relatively cheap: 12$ or 9,99 Euros or 7,9 pounds and until October 20th 2014, this game is on sale for 75% off. The game itself is not THAT bad. It’s just boring. You only have what… 6 maybe 7 guns? I’m like past 4 mission (I think) as of writing this review and I’ve managed to fire a USP looking handgun, SMG, Ak47 both scoped and not, a sniper rifle and a Dragunov, so there’s not that much variety in the guns + they all feel alike. You also have grenades which are pretty decent. The game is not terrible, sure the enemy AI is a little bit unfair, but I had fun watching my teammates shoot each other. There are a few bugs and glitches here and there, but you can get easily unstuck and some of them are pretty funny looking.
So that’s it. The game is just making me sleepy and tired and not wanting to play anymore and if you feel like it’s a game for you, then buy it, especially since it’s on sale.
It is painful to play throguh this game and I had to edit this review TWICE. I really wanted to defend this game, but after playing it for 2hrs... I dried my tear canals, ate my toast, drank my tea, filled myself with biscuits and it didn't help me to feel anybetter. There are WORSE game than this, but this... this was just painful to play. How did it get 6/10 on desura? Maybe that version is better? It's also cheaper without the sale, only 3,99 euros.