Overturned my sofa cushions, found enough money to buy Dark Scavenger. Let me tell you how it is:
Picture this if you'd be so kind: space. It's unfathomably huge and mostly empty, but you've come across a place where in the background you can see a stream of stars. Nearby is a sun pounding atoms together to make heavier and heavier elements and putting out the energy of 6 trillion nuclear bombs per second as a by-product. A few hundred million miles off are some planets; generators of storms guaranteed to instantly pressure cook anything wrought by feeble mortal hands, but only tiny marbleized orbs from your point of view. This is so real and awesome, you think to yourself. How could it possibly get any better? Well, maybe there's a barbarian with a giant axe. And if that weren't enough, the barbarian is having a no-holds-barred punch-up with a robot micro-universe, the Xenomorph from Alien, and Jesus Christ if he were an alien with a super laser gun. They are firing rays that go "pew-pew!" and there are explosions and a spaceship and a unicorn runs by! You cannot believe that this is totally real and you are seeing it! And what can you even do in the midst of such an amazing scenario? The only thing a man can do: swing his rusty sword for 5 damage.
Dark Scavenger is kind of like that, but even better! This game will take you on an amazing and hilarious adventure with an ultra-simple interface reminiscent of games like Dragon Warrior, Earthbound, and Pokemon. Of course, without the limitations of old cartridges, Dark Scavenger is free to elaborate on its story and make sure you're never bored. The graphics are static images, but look quite nice (I don't think the screenshots in Steam did them justice) and despite the simplistic nature of it all Dark Scavenger manages to create a game you'll never forget.
You remember playing those RPGs and getting a little giddy when you finally leveled up and unlocked an awesome sounding new move for your character? You didn't even care what it did or if you could only do it a couple of times; you totally used that move on the next Level 1 Fuzzy Bunny you came up against. Dark Scavenger's gameplay manages to capture that feeling in every single encounter. Rather than leveling up and gaining better hit points or attack prowess, you gain loot. But instead of simply strapping this loot on to your hurly-burly self, you give it to one of your three allies who will make you a new weapon, item, or ally to call upon. Every one of these is unique and it never manages to get samey. And as your allies tease you with what awesome choices lie before you, you'll find yourself in gleeful agony trying to pick your prize. Each thing has limited uses, but can be used in combat for obvious reasons or choose-your-own-adventure style narrative pieces where having an applicable tool will give you the best rewards or the coolest outcome to your actions. Thanks to this, nothing is ever useless and you never experience the grind of other RPGs. Encounters come and go and don't get replayed. Dark Scavenger is nothing if not perpetually fresh.
So let's say I haven't sold this game to you yet. Yeah, by passing up on Dark Scavenger, you'll save about 1/24th of what it takes to get a new release that's one of those comittee designed polygon orgies that's like a movie you press buttons to watch. Or, you could buy this game that has the heart to make you want to replay it years down the line, the balls to ask a couple bucks for a mostly text-driven sci-fi fantasy adventure, and the kind of brain that'll give you disco dancing space goblins if you give it a chance. I know where I'd rather put half of my lunch money, sir.
Or, if you take the advice of some other reviewers, you could just watch a let's play of Dark Scavenger, since it's one of those games where once you've seen the whole thing there's only minor differences to see. Fair enough. But, hey, if you do that and you actually have fun watching, why not buy the game? For how little it costs on sale, it's basically like buying the devs a beer. And then maybe they'll make more!