I got this game for free and I still feel like I paid too much for it.

TWO GAMES IN ONE!

Card Farming Simulator 2015

and

Uninstall Simulator 2015

1) Launch this stuff
2) Minimize the window
3) Get your cards
4) Delete this stuff
5) Never remember about it

uninstall not enough, ill format my computer.

I have no idea what I am even playing. Is this even a game, or is it random madness? I assume there are multiple levels, but I can't even figure out what to do in the first level, which is a horrible asteroids type game where an anime girl (?) is ranting bible quotes at you.
From reading some more the intent was to make a supposed old bad Bible game -- well, they succeeded absolutely.

This game is one of the reasons why intelligent extraterrestrial life forms are omitting planet Earth.

0/10

Pros:
- in some parallel universes this game never came into existence

Cons:
- it exists in our universe

Right, where to start with this game's review.. In all honesty, this is one of the worst games I have EVER played, and I played Gettysberg, Ride to Hell: Retribution and Afterfall Insanity. The soundtrack is awful, the gameplay is awful, the design (for a game like this - similar to Ikaruga) is awful, the controls function well so at least the developer got that right. Initially you are thrown into the most non-sensical cutscene I have watched in a long time, and no, it's not me that got it wrong, it's them, then the voice acting.. Terrible, apparently the voice actress has won awards? Probably the most dull and awfully acted voice in the history of gaming. Then there is the game itself. It just makes no sense, even in it's joke of a fantasy universe. It is incredibly unhelpful and gives no instruction other than dialogue that makes no sense and is spaced out like a baby let loose on Microsoft Office Word. The constant flickering signs of the neon dialogue just hurts your eyes. They should have an epilepsy warning but then again epileptics would never set hands on this joke. Either way I got this game for free and you know what? It wasn't even worth it. Steam should PAY ME to take this crap. Also the aspects of religion make no sense. Developer, read the bible again and again until you are too old to make another game.
(Rating = 13/100)

This game kills you faster than Ebola.

Best I-run-it-on-background-for-cards simulator ever.

I got it for free, it gives cards, its bad.

no

This game costs much more than $5.
You will also pay with:
-Your soul
-Your sanity
-The feeling that you will ever make a valid purchase ever again
-Possibly a few pints of blood from crying when you ran out of tears

This game...

I would rather puke in my hands and clap three times than ever see this in my library again

Poor controls, confusing mechanics, voice acting from somebodie's loungeroom and gameplay that looks like bible influenced Asteroids game.
I got this game for free, and i would have to be paid 5$ to play this game, not buy it.
Not even the retro graphics can save this, nothing can,
0/10

This is possibly the worst game I've ever played.

There isn't a GUI or Start screen, but rather a long, dull introduction that's poorly voiced, poorly written, and unskippable. The story is non-existant, with completely detached, shoddy gameplay and controls; you shoot random asteroids that randomly burst into bibles to raise your "faith" from 200 to 1000 while Uriel's Chasm floats around the map with you, as if any of that has any religious context. The graphics are very basic and mostly hand-drawn, some of which even look like notebook scans of real pencil drawings.

I would have played this game to completion, since it is a quick and mindless shooter, but the controls are incredibly bad. An arena space shooter should have omnidirectional controlling. It's a necessity for every game in the genre. Unfortunately, this game is ONLY controlled with arrow keys, meaning that you can ONLY shoot in the eight basic combinations in which you can fly. There isn't even cursor aiming. You have to be aligned with a diagonally-moving asteroid to shoot it while you close in on it, then it breaks into smaller asteroids which are almost impossible to shoot but easy to run into. Also, you lose faith for being hit with asteroids AND running into the giant, invincible Uriel's Chasm previously mentioned.

It is a negative experience in every way. I can't believe they want people to pay money for it.

Not worth it even if it's 90% off. If you got it for free get the cards and get rid of it, there are plenty of other games to spend time on.
Valve should be ashamed to have something like this in the Steam store while a lot better games are stuck in Greenlight.

The intro makes no sense,the effects gives headache,the ESC key exits the game entirely. No options,no explanations,no storyline and most importantly NO GAMEPLAY!
Whoever bought this one for 5 $ just got scammed and that ain't funny!
(they even tell you that,those two english girls explains that very well.)
Telling you how they played some game that ,,sucked,, and then they insert that very game for yourself.
NOW PLAY IT!
This shoud be removed from steam store,from our library and from the face of earth before it's too late.
It's an abomination!!!

And whoever takes this one as a joke and not a serious game then your IQ is not very high..
If it was free we coud all laugh about it but it costs 5$ and the only clown in here woud be yourself.

PS: I coudn't even bare myself to play it long enough so i can get those cards and sell them....
5 min of torture were enough to write a review....

It's a joke game and I get it, it's not making me laugh but I get it.

After their first game "//N.P.P.D.RUSH// - The Milk Of Ultra Violet" (which, because of the brackets, is firmly at the top of my library) Rail Slave Games comes with another game "Uriel's Chasm".

Basically it's a Top down space shooter like many other games on Steam. The only difference is that in this game you have no idea what you're suppose to do (at least I don't). You often die without knowing what killed you. I do understand that the developers try to come up with something creative with their games (at least that's what I think they are trying), but the game should ofcourse be fun to play.

Just save your money! Absolutly terrible!

10/10 Great for uninstalling