I’m going to be frank with you, when it comes to programming I haven’t got a ♥♥♥♥ing clue. It’s all about maths or something, you have to make sure numbers add up or whatever, I don’t know. I’ve never needed programming before in my life, so I leave it alone.
But then this game comes along, it calls itself Glitchspace and it’s all about programming, so normally I’d just ignore it, especially since it isn’t even finished yet. But I don’t ignore it, why? Because it’s made by the developers of (the rather brilliant) 9.03m, because it’s different, hell, I don’t know, but for whatever reason I buy this game. This programming game, Glitchspace.
Oh man, you really have to play it. Maybe you’re intrigued by this whole ‘programming’ malarkey, maybe you don’t really care, you just have to play it. See, this isn’t the boring kind of programming, the kind where you have to make sure everything adds up and doesn’t explode or whatever (although the exploding sounds quite exciting), this is programming as a puzzle. A ♥♥♥♥ing puzzle man, I can tell you’re going to love it.
You like puzzles, right? Sure you do, everyone likes puzzles. Puzzles are hard, you have to think, have to use your BRAIN. Sometimes you get stuck and it’s a pain in the ♥♥♥, I know the feeling. But then it just clicks, and it’s insanely satisfying. Puzzles are the most advanced form of ego massage, and I love them for it.
So programming becomes this puzzle, this giant ♥♥♥♥ing puzzle you have to solve. You’re in this 3D world, it’s like a 3D platformer you see. But anyway, to go on you have to programme the walls and floor and ♥♥♥♥ to make you jump super high or not get in your way or move forward and stuff. The point is you do this through programming, that’s right – the boring friendless programming that I kept my distance from all this time. But it isn’t boring, that’s the point. It’s challenging, it’s complicated, it’s satisfying. It really, really is.
Oh man, this game. This ♥♥♥♥ing game. It made me renew my relationship (or lack thereof) with programming. It made me think. It made me feel clever. That’s it, this is a game that makes you feel clever, in my case by making me clever (or more so than before). Oh man, this game. I really can’t wait for the full game to release. I’m going to do so much ♥♥♥♥ing programming, and I can’t wait.