I will give the developer credit where it is due; 4PM’s store page bills itself as a mature and unique, albeit short narrative promising an emotional ride on the subjects of alcoholism and suicide. Along with the trailer and screenshots, (that admittedly look pretty good), and a low, low price point, it seems a promising option among the rest of the junk that regularly pops up on steam. And that is where I must give the developer his due; he’s made a really good sell. And that’s the best I can say, because the game itself is a laughable experience, and for literally every wrong reason there could be.
First, the entire game is put through a ridiculously prominent fuzz filter, one that is evidently absent from the store’s trailer and screenshots, likely to better entice you into wasting your money. The filter itself is used to try and mask the horrid graphics underneath, but it doesn’t succeed. It loads slowly for no apparent reason, breaking up the many short mid-scene jumps with even longer loading freezes. Worse, the actual animations of the cast, particularly their faces, makes any attempt at creating an emotional resonance with the player fail miserably. Instead, the poor acting and bug eyed reactions will likely give you
the same reaction as I had: loudly laughing your head off at the sheer stupidity at every attempt at “drama”.
And what little attempt at a story there is, happens almost entirely at the end. “The big reveal” that occurs near the end of every good drama is shoehorned in with only a couple minutes of ♥♥♥♥ poor dialogue, with virtually no real exposition or story prior. The absolute pretentiousness of it all is positively palpable throughout.
Despite how utterly trash this game is, I recommend it to a specific brand of person. Anyone who enjoyed the previous King to the Pretentious Kingdom, Dinner Date
, is in for a real treat. Where I found DD to be comparably boring, 4PM offers several moments of gut wrenching hilarity, particularly during mid-game, where gears shift from pretentious slop to White Girl Simulator 2014
. The entire thing lasts little more than around 25 minutes, and most of that time will be occupied wondering if something is ever going to happen. When something finally does, the credits come not 2 minutes later, and you’ll be left wondering how a single developer could create such an experience, let alone reach his keyboard, with his head so far up his own log cutter.