Set out on a cross-country journey to win back the love of your life and endure the hardship of making story-defining choices that affect your life and the lives of those around you.
User reviews:
Recent:
Mixed (30 reviews) - 63% of the 30 user reviews in the last 30 days are positive.
Overall:
Mostly Positive (1,818 reviews) - 76% of the 1,818 user reviews for this game are positive.
Release Date: May 21, 2014

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May 21

2 Year Anniversary Patch - ASM 126

Today marks 2 years since we released Always Sometimes Monsters. We thought about running a sale to help celebrate the occasion, but thought it would be a more meaningful gesture of appreciation for all your support if we updated the game instead.

Thanks to all of you for playing, and supporting us this far.

ASM 126 - PATCH NOTES
==============================
- Updated swimming pool sprites with new bathing suits
- Replaced vent-crawling sprites with more appropriate animation
- Changed some dialogue in the Faith Beach pre-wedding scene
- Fixed casino toilets so Sam can use them
- Updated conversation with Bellinger at casino
- RasmusMan received improved score calculation for efficiency
- Prevented Markansas sequences from misfiring
- Secret alternate ending added
- Improved player guidance with concierge in Union Club House
- Expanded conversations with Jake/Justin
- Fixed impassable safe bug in Warehouse Office
- Save import preparation for Sometimes Always Monsters

11 comments Read more

Reviews

“Always Sometimes Monsters deals in chaos and quantum theories – in every second of our lives, we make choices that forever impact our timelines going forward, dictating whether we keep or lose friends, maintain a job or succeed in our goals. We are the masters of our destinies, Always Sometimes Monsters says – but we can't control other people's lives. That's where it gets tricky.”
4/5 – Joystiq

“It's an earnest look at life under tough economic pressure, at love when things don't go according to plan and at a creative career during its shittiest lows. It has a lot to say, and importantly, it speaks from the heart.”
8/10 – Polygon

“Always Sometimes Monsters isn't the first game to get clever with morality. It's not the first game that's had a few grey areas. It also isn't about either of those. It's about perspective. It's about empathy. It's about who we are and why we do what we do. That narrative is one of contradiction and hypocrisy, because that's what real people are about.”
9/10 – Eurogamer

About This Game



Out of money and out of luck you find yourself heart broken and on the verge of collapse. Your landlord's taken the key back, you can't finish your manuscript, and your beloved is marrying someone else. With no choice but to handle whatever life throws at you, you set out on the open road on a mission to win back the love of your life. The story from there is up to you. Can your life be salvaged, or are we always sometimes monsters?

Choice
A story-driven experience focusing on relationships and emotional bonds rather than traditional RPG combat and adventuring. Indecision is your enemy and empathy is your weapon in a quest to earn one last chance to win back the love of your life.

Circumstance
Choose from characters of different gender, race, and sexual preference and live through the common experiences and unique hardships of each based on your selection. NPCs may treat you differently based on your gender, race, or sexual preference opening and closing different paths along the way.

Consequence
Each playthrough is filled with a staggering number of diverging paths that can be discovered through both overt actions and subtle choices in conversation. The journey you experience will be tailored to your personal ethical compass as your decisions both conscious and subconscious change your fate.



Download the original Always Sometimes Monsters soundtrack by LASER DESTROYER TEAM featuring 15 remastered tracks from the game. Available on Bandcamp.

System Requirements

Windows
Mac OS X
    Minimum:
    • OS: Windows XP, Vista, 7, or 8 (32-bit or 64-bit)
    • Processor: Intel Pentium 4, 2.0 Ghz or faster
    • Memory: 512 MB RAM
    • Graphics: 1024 x 768 desktop resolution or better
    • Storage: 500 MB available space
    • Additional Notes: No Steam Overlay Support
    Minimum:
    • OS: OSX 10.7
    • Memory: 2000 MB RAM
    • Graphics: OpenGL 2.0 capable graphics card
    • Storage: 500 MB available space
    • Additional Notes: Steam Achievements not supported, Steam Overlay enabled
Customer reviews
Customer Review system updated! Learn more
Recent:
Mixed (30 reviews)
Overall:
Mostly Positive (1,818 reviews)
Recently Posted
HudsonWolf
( 10.1 hrs on record )
Posted: July 26
SOME SPOILERS BELOW

Tl;dr/non-spoiler version: Could've been great, but relies on the idea that your choices matter, and once you realize they really don't, there's just a shoddy story and terrible minigames backing it up.

> Pick the character who seems least interested in getting Larry drunk
> Am apparently lesbian
> Save Dubstown
> Leave Beaton a corrupt mess
> Have to go to a ridiculous amount of trouble in Salt City because the printer at the bus station is broken
> (Really?)
> Whatever, do everything right
> Get to San Verdano with about two weeks left
> Figure I'll have plenty of time to get things sorted out before the wedding
> Bachelorette party is on Day 17
> Wake up on Day 29
> 10/10 would go to 12-day bachelorette party again

Always Sometimes Monsters is a game that, in my mind, feels like it should be a lot better than it actually is. The crux of it is that for a game that prides itself on offering the player difficult choices, it does an awful job of making it feel like those choices really matter in the end. It has a specific story it wants to tell, a specific flawed narrative it wants to build, and if you try to do anything else, you end up a hobo at gunpoint (I didn't get shot, though, so maybe that's a victory?). This, mind, for taking the high road and deciding that the couple is better off together (they deserve each other, yeesh) and that the player character should just realize that's resolved, finally be able to close that door, and move on with their life. Apparently the developers think that's a totally unreasonable outcome. Whatever. I played through tedious minigame after tedious minigame because I had faith that the story would ultimately carry the game, and that faith was betrayed.

To make things worse, I checked some guides after finishing the game (a bit dumbstruck that that was all there was) and it turns out that to get the 'good' ending, you basically have to stick around somewhere for ten extra days to pick up some cash. No matter what choices you make, no matter how good of a person you are, if you *actually care about the person and want to get there with time to mend bridges and assess the situation*, you'll fail because you don't have enough money. Which doesn't fit with the game at all.

That said, it's pretty true in general that the game can't seem to decide what exactly it wants to be, which might be part of the problem. So much of the background of the game can't seem to exist unless it has a joke attached (the last straw might have been when the guy who's been pointing a gun at you the entire game (I mean, sort of) is literally named Checkhov) that when the game gets serious, it's very difficult to take it seriously. And if it's all just an existentialist joke, which is what it ends up shaping up as, the joke is on whoever buys it.

Also, somebody else writing a bestselling novel (and getting the rights to a video game adaptation, right, much subtle, very humour) based on your journal? There are so many problems with that, but by the end, you just accept it because hey whatever that's just how this game rolls. Go through the game making friendships and being a good person? Turns out nobody cares! Turns out you don't care either and that the only thing that mattered in your life was a relationship that was kinda sketchy from the start and ended because your partner wouldn't believe in your ability to follow your dreams. Such a great message!

Oh, and the title? Graffiti in a bus station that the main character repeats because it sounds like it means something. Though, to be fair, 'something that tries to be intriguing and meaningful but is annoying and pointless in the end' sums up this game pretty well, so maybe the title fits.

Understand, though, the only reason I'm as frustrated at this game as I am was that I really wanted it to be great. It could've been great. And there are some elements, some moments where it just about gets there. So if you want to comb through this haystack of a game for those needles of brilliance, that's your call. Just don't expect it to live up to its potential.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
spenser
( 7.8 hrs on record )
Posted: July 23
Light/medium spoilers ahead!! You've been warned!!!!


Probably my favorite game of all time. I can't even pin down what about it I loved SO much, but mostly it was the reality of it. The atmospheres, the settings, were all so familiar. I imagine my life isn't too different from the MC's, because the places she goes and lives are eerily similar to my own. IMO it's very reflective of the USA's atmosphere and everything was incredibly well done in that regard.

The sound and soundtrack was phenomenal, albeit maybe a bit repetitive, but it barely got on my nerves at all. The characters were all solid and unique and felt real. Even the background characters all had so much to say. There is so much attention to detail in this game it's crazy.

I personally liked the grinding and the stamina aspect, I liked the gambling and fighting a lot. I liked how I could actually play as a gay character that didn't have the gay part glossed over--it was actually brought up multiple times, which I found very impressive and I really enjoyed it.

I don't think I can say enough about how much I like this game. I don't think I have anything negative to say about it at all...

I do wish that if the MC successfully objected the wedding the epilogue was a little happier. You know, maybe she goes to take a nap but kisses you first or something, just to show they're going to be on the right track.

I was ridiculously attatched to everybody I met in this game.

I started playing at about 10 pm last night, it's just about to turn 5 am. Night well spent.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
ilepsi
( 12.3 hrs on record )
Posted: July 23
Always Sometimes Monsters was a game that I played on my not so powerful macbook when I was on the go. It is a game with an awesome story, some nice twists and somewhat dark humor. I played it the total of 12 hours but I'm quite certain you can finish the game even faster. I guess I got too carried away slaughtering the poor radioactive piggies...
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-Wolf-░OFFWHITE░
( 3.6 hrs on record )
Posted: July 21
Not the game for me but check it out!
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Cosmo_Kat
( 19.9 hrs on record )
Posted: July 20
You get to be a pathetic underachiever with a dead end carreer, a somewhat frivoulous sexuallity and a desparatly sad love live, working ♥♥♥♥ job so that you can try to put your life back together.

Hey i get to be me... 10 outta 10
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Infinity Spirit
( 17.7 hrs on record )
Posted: July 18
I was not always happy with the decisions i could choose from. Especially torwards the end the story was rushed, felt like the writer wanted to get over with it already. Or maybe he has a weird view of things not sure. But up to that point it kept me awake dring the rl night. I still give it a yes because someone might think different. Also it's well made and has a high replay value after some time has passed.

And yes, we are all always sometimes Monsters ...sadly.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Sir Eleventy
( 10.8 hrs on record )
Posted: July 17
It was a good story. I was expecting something like the ending from the beginning; however, its the journey that matters and not the end result. There was a bit of tedius walking back and fourth which may account for more than a sixth of my playtime. The controls were relatively simple and the storyline was easy to follow along even with all the side stories and stuff to do along the way.
I wasn't too thrilled for the timeshift before the final moments of the game. It was a little dissapointing to see my frugality with time was for naught and I could have totally blown a couple of days to pay that rent in the start of the game.
The fact that every decision matterd towards the final outcome was what sold it for me and is why I would reccomend playing this game if you've got some time too kill between books or games.

tl;dr Buy it on a good sale, kill half a day like reading a decent book.
Decent.
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hobojohnny
( 12.5 hrs on record )
Posted: July 17
You're always poor
Everyone is terrible
You get to eat food
You poop everywhere
You poop onto a guy's car (also, maybe the guy)
There's a cat named Hotdog
You buy a wedding dress then don't get to use it
The last thing I did in the game before beating it was masturbate three times in the shower.

It's OK
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Maverick
( 16.0 hrs on record )
Posted: July 17
Honestly this was a poorly made game for being publish by Devovler Digital. It art is pretty halfassed and the story is predictable and unsatifing. The entire game a chore making you play broken minigames and grinding for money just to progress through the game. The game is sloopy and badly put together and if you think you might get a reward for at least finishing the game they cop out with a shity "it was all a dream type scenerio"
1/10 not worth your time buy something more fulfilling.
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May
( 3.2 hrs on record )
Posted: July 15
I gotta say, if on the fact alone that they took RPG Maker and made something that actually made me have to look twice before I realized that it was, indeed, RPG maker... I can kind of recommend this.

DEAR ANYONE USING RPG MAKER: TAKE SOME TIPS FROM THESE GUYS.

On the subject of the gameplay, it's uh, interesting. You walk around, talk to people, standard RPG Maker fare. I'm not actually certain if there's any fighting at all in this game? I haven't seen any yet.

I don't think I'm going to finish this, but hey, it's not a bad game at all.
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Most Helpful Reviews  In the past 30 days
11 of 13 people (85%) found this review helpful
Not Recommended
13.6 hrs on record
Posted: June 29
Always Sometimes Monsters is a game that I thought at the beginning had a lot of potential given its promise of morally complex situations. However, after watching someone else's playthrough and playing my own, I realized that the game is far more linear than it lets on, playing out more like a visual novel with a superfluous stamina mechanic.

You play a person who, a year after a break-up, is still despondent and decides to travel across country -- through whatever means possible -- in order to chase their ex. The love interest you're pursuing is selfish, shallow, fickle, and absolutely unhealthy for you. Like other reviewers, for all this game's hooting about choices, I was disappointed and annoyed that there was no option to be an adult and simply move on from my ex.

The drama of decision making is supposed to come in what you're willing to do in order to get the money to travel from place to place, but near the end of the game, there's a casino which lets you win large amounts of money. I won $10,000 and was able to pay off Sam's gambling debt with no problems, thus making the entire struggle for money throughout the game seem rather pointless.

The Dubstown segment is probably the game's strongest part, and the narrative becomes progressively weaker and less interesting afterwards. Story-based games live or die on the strength of their writing, and Always Sometimes Monsters is no exception. There were sparks of interest here and there, and it was certainly an ambitious concept, but for the most part, the writing is just not to the level it should have been for the ideas it was wrestling with. The author insertions were ridiculous and off-putting. I can't recommend this game.
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7 of 7 people (100%) found this review helpful
Recommended
19.9 hrs on record
Posted: July 20
You get to be a pathetic underachiever with a dead end carreer, a somewhat frivoulous sexuallity and a desparatly sad love live, working ♥♥♥♥ job so that you can try to put your life back together.

Hey i get to be me... 10 outta 10
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5 of 8 people (63%) found this review helpful
Not Recommended
16.6 hrs on record
Posted: July 2
I really enjoy playing a game that has a compelling, emotional and character-driven plot, with realistic dialogue and interesting moral dilemmas.

This game is the opposite of that.

I regret spending money on such a contrived narrative and overall painfully mediocre game experience. 0/10
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Most Helpful Reviews  Overall
488 of 594 people (82%) found this review helpful
Recommended
18.0 hrs on record
Posted: May 13, 2014
Always Sometimes Monsters stands out amongst other games. As a life simulator it is consistently challenging and nerve wracking, your journey is not a ‘zero to hero’ one where you build stats and gain money. This is a tale of the daily ups and downs poverty. At times it is like a modern Steinbeck novel and at other times a hilarious meta comedy that plays with your expectations.

The gameplay is engaging and surprisingly varied and non-linear with plenty of choices, paths to choose and lovely mini-games that never break the immersion. Most importantly, playing this game is FUN. The pixel style is lovely and its animation limitations are made up for with great dialogue and environments.

This game will cause arty arguments about ludonarrative-dissonance and decision making in games. Don’t think about that too much for now, enjoy this game and get engrossed in your character’s story.
Oh, and devs, I moved 40 boxes. FORTY!
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557 of 712 people (78%) found this review helpful
2 people found this review funny
Not Recommended
11.3 hrs on record
Posted: May 23, 2014
"Always Sometimes Monsters" was an experience, for sure. Thought-provoking, clever, humorous, and dark in all the right places. The interactive story of people at their best and worst. But I have some serious gripes. For one, there never seemed to be any consequence for starving your character. Early on I made sure my blocky textured game self was properly fed at least one brick of bacon a day. By the end of the game, however, it didn't matter. I went the last few days without so much as entering a store. No complaints of hunger, no risk of starvation... I just kept trucking.

Another complaint: pacing. Man was this game hindered by poor pacing. The game runs out of interesting tasks early on, and getting on to the next "level" require monotonous grinding under the guise of "man does real life suck or what?" And I get it. You want to buy expensive things, you've got to work for it... or be greasy enough to rob people blind. But as a game mechanic it turned the experience into a chore. But I kept on trucking, like my malnutritioned game character. I had to get to the end. Surely that would make it worth it? All of these choices - so many variables! How will my story turn out? Well, SPOILERS...

It ends the same way every time. Me in an alleyway with a gun pointed at me. Did I betray my friend? Yep. Marry my girl? Yep. Did everything end up falling apart? Yep. Okay, seems logical. If you're a ♥♥♥♥, you're going to get a ♥♥♥♥ ending. I'll do it differently! I'll help my friend. Let my girl marry him. Maybe now I won't end up all distraught in an alley? Didn't I make friends in my travels? Friends who swore they'd help me and be there for me? Wasn't I a good person? Rescuing dogs and helping old ladies? Nope. I'm in an alley, begging for the sweet release of death. Well, that isn't very fun. Again, this feels like lazy design disguised as some seriously angsty philosophy... life sucks. It doesn't matter what you do, who you are, or who your friends are, it all ends the same way: you, in an alley, hoping some guy will execute you to make the pain go away. Really unfortunate. You can be a horrible monster or a paragon and it ends the same way. What, bad guys don't win sometimes? Good guys lose, sure, but they don't EVER prevail?

I may have to play this through a few more times, but what I'm seeing from other players is the same preachy, bummer ending. I'll rescind this review if need be; assuming there's a way to end it with me not sucking the proverbial barrel of a gun.


Edit: As of 5/24/2014 I'm seeing that there were some finale bugs that resulted in the player character ending up in his/her homeless predicament regardless of doggy rescuing and old lady assisting. It seems the devs have corrected this. It also seems that there are a few happy endings that require a bit of finagling... choosing arbitrary reasons for the initial break-up, choosing how to make a quick buck, either planting seeds or harvesting medicinal marijuana... I don't know why. I still can't recommend it. Some people will enjoy this. It's an interesting story with some flashes of brilliance; just not enough. If you like bummerfests (as that is likely how your story will end JUST LIKE REAL LIFE MAYBE SOMETIMES ALWAYS), and you don't mind monotonous grinding, THIS might be the game for you.
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154 of 175 people (88%) found this review helpful
3 people found this review funny
Recommended
13.8 hrs on record
Posted: November 14, 2014
Pre-emptive warning: I haven't spoiled any major plot points, but there are some tonal spoilers for one of the game's endings.

I err on the side of recommending this game, but I can't claim that it isn't very deeply flawed. Its main failing is that the story is about a lot of things, but the ending is 100% reliant on whether or not you "win back" your love interest. Personally, I thought it would be most satisfying to play a character initially very deeply set on reconnecting with his ex, but gradually coming to terms with the breakup and, in the end, letting the ceremony go uninterrupted. In this playthough, I had been successful in almost every aspect of my life: religiously keeping a journal, participating only in activities I believed in, and treating everyone with kindness. My character's future was promising. So, what ending did I get?

The one where I'm suicidal, nihilistic and alone because I couldn't bear the pain of losing my ex-girlfriend, who I'd had every intention of getting over on the way to her wedding. This is the only ending possible if you fail to "win her back", regardless of your other achievements or the way you've roleplayed your character. The game as a whole could be massively improved by the removal of the framing device at the beginning and end, as, for many endings, it fundamentally doesn't make sense and stands contrary to the story's themes. There's a fine post-credits scene, but it didn't negate my confusion at my character's hysterical response to making a perfectly fair, mature decision that, in my mind, caused him no great pain. It was a very "Huh?" moment for me.

As for the rest of the story, it's pretty good. Extremely tonally uneven (I found myself going "Really?" probably a dozen times) but not at all bad when you look past that, and I genuinely enjoyed most of the campaign. The trip was gruelling but satisfying, with more than its share of close calls and poignant moments, and it felt like I was coming to the end of a long journey when I finally arrived at the ex's wedding location. It's not realistic, but there's a realness to it -- something humbling about the situations you're faced with, an earnestness in the way the game presents love, friendship, and hope. I guess that's why I felt degraded by the ending... I mean, how can my character be so nihilistic when the past month has probably been the most interesting in his life? He's learned so much, experienced so much, yet the game gives me a pitch-black failstate because I didn't adhere to the arbitrary goal. It's not only unsatisfying, but also troubling philosophically. I guess I would recommend this game with the cliche that you should focus on the journey, not the desitation... or play with the LI in mind. Either way.
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221 of 270 people (82%) found this review helpful
5 people found this review funny
Recommended
13.1 hrs on record
Posted: October 21, 2014
I had been sick of saving the world, fighting zombies or shooting people in games. Always Sometimes Monsters featured a storyline where I was just an ordinary person trying to stay alive in this cruel world & to get back with my significant other. I definitely recomend.
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117 of 134 people (87%) found this review helpful
4 people found this review funny
Not Recommended
17.1 hrs on record
Posted: January 25
I really really wanted to like this game. I did. I got it, I was super interested in it. It helped my attention so well. . . Until the ending. I know others have stated it but I absolutely loath the ending. Hands down, I really enjoyed this game until you got near the end. I enjoyed going through the turmoil with my character, watching them grow as a person, seeing the effects of the choices I made. . . But the ending is such a slap in the face.

Spoiler alert for anyone wishing to play the game. Do not read beyond this point:

So I pick my character, I have my love interest, I lose my love interest and my life spirals out of my hands. Not a bad start to a game. It was definitely unique so I did enjoy that aspect of the game. Then I played on and I found myself getting immersed. My character gets a job at an advertising place, while there though I save a young man from commiting suicide simply by being honest and not judging someone I don't even know. Kudos to you game developers. I liked this.

I get to the next time. I continue helping people from a transgender man to a hungry young boy to even my "friend's" marriage all while being reminded of my choices and what to do when I meet up with my ex.

I think hands down my favorite level is with my 'uncle' whose now a pastor. How finding out that his love for me as his own child turned his life around and how he wanted to be a better man. I dunno. I really liked this part. I also liked the part where he asked me what I wanted to do. Was it to reconsile with my ex. Was I going to finally let go? What was I doing. . . Now at this point in the story my motiviation had gone from 'get back with your ex' to possibly letting them go (In my eyes the relationship wasn't that good if it ended in the direction it did) and to make a better start.

and then Vegas/Ending. . . The game PUNISHES you for not going with your ex. It really does. I don't care what anyone says. I played through it and even though I had a high compatibility with my ex I decided to let them go on with their life and Bam. SHot in the head as a hobo. WTF?! Seriously. I was finally making amends with an old friend, seeing them marry my ex and I get shot in the head as a hobo cause I couldn't get over it?! FLIPPITY DO DAH AH! I hated that. I absolutely hated that. So I reload and interupt the wedding and profess my love. Get accepted, undo everything I had done (Making amends, learning to stand on my own two feet) and even that ending wasn't really rewarding. I just. . . I hated the ending so much. I still do. It's been months since I last played it but that ending has stayed so vividly in my mind because of how much I had enjoyed the first 2/3's of the game until the end.

That's basically the end of my rant. If they've updated the endings I may give the game another shot but as of right now, no. I regret owning this game and that's really sad for me to say as again I did enjoy a good chunk of it.
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215 of 276 people (78%) found this review helpful
3 people found this review funny
Not Recommended
4.8 hrs on record
Posted: November 14, 2014
Always Sometimes Monsters is frequently tedious and rife with things that shatter any suspension of disbelief. I had high hopes for this game, but it really fails to deliver on its promise of an open story of moral ambiguity in favor of a tedious romp through a poorly explained plot that looks like it was written by a 15-year-old going through their "edgy" stage. There is a lot to do, but none of it feels especially worth doing, and a lot of it affects nothing so far as I can tell. Maybe there's a point to buying crab rather than chicken apart from wasting money. Also, ideas like "Sandwich Furtures" traded at a terminal in a sandwich shop, banks that require a security question to make a deposit, and day care providers willing to overlook an allegation of terrorism on a criminal background check are all sufficiently stupid (and not actually funny) that they do nothing but detract from the story.

The characters are too close to being parodies of archetypes to feel truly endearing, and some of them are introduced to disappear completely from the game moments later. I stayed at a girl's house for nine days and saw her exactly once, despite the fact that the she seemed like she could be an interesting and dramatic character. Meanwhile, I have to deal with the Kurt Cobain / Courtney Love analogues far more than I want. Too often, the choices I wanted to make I could not, and the questions I wanted answered were not.

Production-wise, the graphics are bland and inconsistent Some characters look completely different in their close-up versions and their walking versions. The imagery is often too cartoony for how dark the subject matter is trying to be (although a lot of that "darkness" comes off as a ham-fisted attempt at shock value), but not cartoony enough to feel like more than a bland vaguely anime look. The sound effects are ear-bleedingly jarring at times, with obnoxious beeps and sudden bursts of animal noise contrasted by the near complete silence of the game world apart from the music (of which I have generally few complaints). Even when the sound effects are appropriate, the lack of other appropriate sound effects make them feel out of place. If that was a design decision, it was a terrible one, but judging by the overall production value, I suspect they just couldn't be bothered to put any serious work into them.

I'm glad I got this as part of bundle, because I'd feel cheated if I paid for this by itself.
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191 of 244 people (78%) found this review helpful
172 people found this review funny
Recommended
14.2 hrs on record
Posted: December 20, 2014
HERE BE SPOILERS

Got tricked into playing as an asian lesbian
Received dirty pictures almost instatnly
Had a poo three times in a row
Was racially abused within 5 minutes
Robbed an old lady of her baseball cards
Killed pigs for half an hour to accquire dosh
Thrown into a homeless shelter because I didn't buy a bag and got beated to death by guards
Sold crack to a sweaty politician then rigged an election because I hate socialists
Blew up someones car and left his 5 children to fend for themselves in the ♥♥♥♥-end of nowhere
Got my backstabbing ♥♥♥♥♥ of a best friend shot and had a panic attack
All this to get my girlfriend back
She dumped me again
Ended up as a suicidal hobo

10/10 accurate representation of my everyday life

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EDIT:

I put this review up as a joke, but it doesn't really do the game justice. By all gameplay aspects, this game is boring and tedious. However, the story and your choices within are constructed in such a way that spending 30 minutes playing the same minigame feels worth it. The scope of the story, really, is rather small, and this works to it's benefit. I was always working towards the same goal, and everything else felt like a hurdle to be surmounted rather than a distraction. If you like a good love / revenge / hate story, then it's worth the small investment.
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