Publisert: 16. mars
This game qualifies as a "Rogue-lite" with very, VERY heavy emphasis on the suffix "LITE".
"The Orc and the Pie" is a joke about how, when you get down to it, the lazy standard of RPGs is to just say there's some monster that wants to kill you, and if you kill it, you get some random loot thing, and then get offered a chance to go kill another orc to get more pies. Whoever made this game didn't get that it was supposed to be a joke.
Play as one of four pre-defined stereotypes with no real character customization in a series of square rooms where you can either spam the ranged attack button (if a ranged attacker) or just ram directly into enemies until they all die.
Then, once the orcs are dead, you get to run over anything in the room while spamming the "pick up" button, and occasionally run all the way back to a shopkeeper to empty out your pockets so you can carry more random crap.
This game's version of pies are largely uninspired. You have potions, "food" that are potions in disguise, armor and weapons that just straight give +damage or -damage with very few exceptions, and you'll largely be fighting enemies on floor 5 the exact same way as you did on floor 1. In fact, you'll probably be fighting the SAME ENEMIES, too, since this game palette swaps all the enemies.
Thanks to a lack of enough mana potions, if you play the mage, you'll be treated to a basic attack spell that takes 5 MP, enemies that take several bolts to kill, and needing to waste a dozen turns to get 2 MP back. Enjoy the tactical depth of running in circles or smashing the wait turn button for hours to get your MP back after clearing a cramped room. Since there's no hunger mechanics, you can waste infinite time, and are directly rewarded for doing so, with only the toll upon your own patience as a disincentive.
Bosses may be tougher than you, but thanks to the I-take-a-turn-you-take-a-turn nature of the game, you can simply walk away from bosses to prolong combat as long as necessary for your passive regen to put you back up to full health while the bosses have no regeneration. As a bonus, "poison" type effects keep working, so getting a single lucky fireball to start tapping away 3% health per turn and then kiting the boss across the whole dungeon is easy-peasy boss cheesing.
Beyond that, everything in this game is either scenery or a target for vandalism. It tries to add "humor" by having random quotes put out there like Dungeons of Dredmor did, but honestly, that just reminds me of how Dungeons of Dredmor is a much, much better game than this. The "jokes" are even mostly recycled, and I can't even be bothered to stop to read them, after a while, much like I can't be bothered to stop to pick up the bajillion coins that fall out of the hundredth palette swapped rat I just barbecued with my thousandth fireball.
Procedural content is only as interesting as the effort put into making each area actually feel different. This game is just the same room copy-pasted every single time. Kick in door, kill orc, take pie. Kick in next door, kill orc, take pie. Rinse and repeat until your eyes bleed. Few games manage to be as offensively boring as this...
In summary, don't play this game, it's a lazy knockoff Dungeons of Dredmor wannabe. Play the real Dungeons of Dredmor.