"This wasn't cheap enough"
Blast Em! is a cheap little shoot em up that is all about surviving for as long as you can. Chances are, you won't be staying alive for long.
There really isn't one for this game. The Steam store page mentions something about defending the universe from evil alien robots, but there is nothing resembling a story once you start the game. Make up whatever excuse you like for why your pilot is flying his ship.
Visuals are very basic. You have your ship, some different enemies, their bright red attacks, asteroids, coins and powerups. Resembles something you might have seen on the old Commodore 64 or Amiga home computers.
On to the sound. For the most part, the music is bloody awful. When starting the game, a track will be picked and played until you quit. Go into the options and mute it the moment you start the game. The sound effects are pretty poor. A constant sound effect for your own firing, another for enemy firing, crap explosion sounds for deaths of either you or them, and a few low quality words for when you start the level, die or grab one of the power ups.
Mouse only. Don't both if you don't have a decent mouse. Everything is done by moving the mouse, and clicking the left button if you are on the menu. No keyboard or gamepad controls for this game, not even an option for them.
Very simple. Move your mouse. Yeah, that is pretty much it. You mouse controls the movement of the ship, with firing being automatic. Move that mouse around, to dodge enemies and their attacks, asteroids , etc. Use your mouse to fly into coins dropped by destroyed enemies and asteroids. If you want to sacrifice some of your coins, which act as your game score, feel free to fly into a power up like Rapid Fire or Spread Shot, to get a temporary boost to your abilities. Now, continue this as long as you can, because the only way it will end is by you failing to move out of the way of a hazard.
Well, if you want, you can try to rank well on the leader board, but seeing the higher scores, I wouldn't expect you to ever see yourself there unless you are willing to cheat like other users. There are also a number of achievements that are unlikely to keep people playing.
Short, simple and boring. Not worth the purchase at all. Save your cash and try a free to play shooter like Warning Forever instead.
2 / 10