Designed as an experiment to see how far you can ramp up the gamma in the Unity engine, the scientifically accurate Badger Simulator 2015
primarily serves to teach kids that badger cubs are omnivores that eat a grown cat's RDA every hour. In an epic play full of deep & morally relevant messages about adolescence, parenthood and the circle of life (sans Elton John), you are assigned the part of Badger Mommy, genetically engineered not to need any food whatsoever herself, and you bid your time (your hour, to be precise) babysitting your most adorable  kids along a reasonably linear path of invisible boundaries, not passing go or collecting $200 until the game eventually runs out of scripted encounters. In the meantime, this corridor shooter without any shooting will hurl tons (I measured!) of emotionally charged music out of your speakers. Functionally it's a bit like a third person Lemmings game with the Lemmings following you 95% of the time, furthermore devoid of the various joyful abilities proper Lemmings have. Worth the purchase (or the effort of playing) only for the peculiarly jolly Predator-esque airborne takedowns Badger Mommy can perform on the various hostile mobs inhabiting Gammaland.
Length: 1 hour
Evils: Unity; scripted as much as any CoD campaign; omniscient bird AI; bugs
Replayability: You can hypothetically strive for a perfect playthrough. Depends on how often you'd like to endure "dat gamma".
Posted: December 6th, 2013