So according to the sychophants on the forum, this game is now "complete". Let me tell you what you do in it:
-Get banished from the kingdom of ?????? because you and the rest of the inhabitants did ????????
-Dig giant holes in the ground
-Dig giant implied holes in the side of a mountain
-Have a family of two hog the first and only house in the village so far while everyone else freezes outside
-Occasionally have a trader row (just row. there's no land trade to speak of so even if you're in a relatively flat area where you'd expect caravans you just get one ♥♥♥♥ in a row boat) and try to barter some beans with you
-Make a church so the already insanely happy people are even happier
-Make a tavern so the already insanely happy people are even happier, and drunk
-Make a hospital so everyone doesn't die from the chicken pox or something
-Make a town hall so you can get pretty graphs and detailed accounts on how many potatoes Joe Blow has stuffed in his kitchen cupboard
And, well, that's pretty much it. Nothing wrong with that. It's a great start and I do enjoy what little there is. My issue comes with the "completed" status and the fact I've seen maybe one update since I bought the game several months ago (which as far as I can tell was mostly just bugfixes). There's simply not enough game here.
Like I said, it's fun. I won't deny I enjoy watching my little lemming men run around, chop trees, and build roads so straight and villages so organized it'd send the Romans into a fit of envy. I'm just left wondering "what about all the other stuff?" Where are the wild animals that tear lonely loggers to shreds if they venture too far from town? The bandits and barbarians who threaten to raze the city if they don't get a tribute of food? As far as I can tell getting banished from ?????? for ?????? (It really doesn't fill you in on any of this. I'm sure someone will pass it off as "leaving it up to the player" but anyone with any idea of how to write things can tell you that's lazy writing) was more of a blessing than a curse, because if you don't make outright stupid decisions your village will be flourishing in a matter of years, and there's just not enough to threaten that prosperity. The winters mean less and less as your wooden buildings are turned to stone and your leather coats are lined with the wool from the sheep you traded six trillion beans for. Outbreaks are handled quickly and efficiently by the magical witch doctor that just rubs some plants on the afflicted's face until they're suddenly better. The only thing that will eventually theoretically threaten your village (assuming you play this long before getting bored) is running out of room for graveyards from all the people that eventually die from old age, and I'm sure even that could be avoided by keeping everyone happy enough they don't care Old Man Jenkins's carcass was thrown into the woods for the nonexistent wolves to tear apart.
I'm not really angry. I'm just disappointed. There's too little game here where there should be, and I'm finding myself questioning the legitimacy of its "completedness". I'm sure I'll be Not Helpfulled into oblivion by the raving drones that insist it was money well spent and can't take a lick of criticism, but all I can say is welcome to the reviews section, kids.