I really enjoyed this game and it was really fun too....
Are Wild Games Studios gone now?
Ok, this game was a pile of ♥♥♥♥. It was a pile of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ kebab forged from the very depths of the sewers. This game also stamps on those who try to talk ♥♥♥♥ about it hence my clever review disguise, you see?
I loaded up the game to be immediately greeted by a menu system that could only have been imagined by a man who'd have his testicles mounted on his wall, peering at them and polishing them at the weekends. I also noticed that this game also doesn't even have its own icon as it was still displaying the UDK icon for the game.
Ok, let's crank up the graphics. This game still uses the default variable names in menus - bAllowHighTextureMaterials...REALLY
I then started the game to find myself in a sacrificial chamber with the world's most oblivious temple priest of all time. I escaped from ropes that weren't even tied to anything to begin fighting him with a machete which I must of pulled out of my ♥♥♥♥. I killed him and there was no death animation, he just fell over dead and vanished into thin air.
I then started cutting down some lights and pushing buttons with my incredible arms that allow me to push buttons from a distance of 2 metres. Then for explicable reason, the temple starts to crumble with broken rock meshes. I ran out of there and entered a cutscene which contained no sound at all.
I followed a girl to a village and had to do a stupid fetch quest for animal meat. I went down the dirt path and saw a panther which activated possibly one of the worst QTE's I have ever come across in my entire life. I killed it and stole his meat. I brought the meat back and then stopped giving two ♥♥♥♥♥ about the missions.
I continued the way I went before when I came across a pyramid. I climbed and there were many mirrors obviously placed for some kind of puzzle. I couldn't be asked and went back down the stairs again. Or atleast I would have if I hadn't died from fall damage by walking down the stairs. This showed me the death camera which would look like what I imagine a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ fly's vision to be like. It was here I couldn't stand it any longer and quit.
Buy this game when it is super-cheap. I am 100% serious, you have to see this ♥♥♥♥! It's so apalling this game appeared to be more of a comedy!
Publicada: 19 janeiro 2014