Dark and brooding, a malevolent atmosphere grips this charmingly pixelated game.
"Gee willikers! This is just like that fondly remembered game of my childhood - TLoZ: Link's Awakening!" you squawk at me, giddy to seize a shared pop culture connection.
Swiftly, I backhand you. Cheek rapidly reddening you slump to your knees "b-b-but why..." comes the choked utterance from that doeful shocked face.
I stare down with pity at the uneducated oaf before me before sharing my hard wrought wisdom.
"This game, this game is so much more than "just like" Link's Awakening. This is a doorway into the deepest depths of the human psyche, an exploration of hithero unknown horror. To play... neigh, to 'experience' this title is to journey beyond your limit, recklessly opening Pandora's box in the search for enlightenment. In doing so you may be blessed with the briefest moment of clarity… before the abject terror sets in, that realisation that what has once been learned cannot be undone and that henceforth your existence must continue onward from this day burdened by such new-found knowledge."
The light in your eyes dims, you sought only to play a game, a small time sink in which to pass an afternoon, you weren't prepared for such existence trembling enlightenment. Your spirit wills your body towards the bedroom door, away from the computer, yet your flesh does not obey. With a flick of your hand the mouse cursor glides over to the "Play Now" button.
A series of events is now in motion beyond your control.
Posted: November 10th, 2013