Even before actually playing the game, I was already hating Sega with my guts for this piece of crap.
- "Best played with gamepad" shown (actually "Am besten mit Gamepad gespielt." - see below), and this is apparently just advertising for Microsoft input devices. It's also helped along by only giving you three keyboard control presets (and they're all sub-optimum, and it's incredibly lazy considering you have two actions plus direction keys). Yeah, you won't need analog movement controls for this game either, so the controller advertising is complete ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. (At least the few movement tests I did with keyboard felt like giving me enough control. Analog controller movement results in either run or stroll.)
- Said message is part of the ♥♥♥♥ing 25 seconds of unskippable game launch intro! (More if you don't press Enter and then Esc at the right times.) And even returning from in-game to the main menu (e.g. for quitting) wastes several seconds with unnecessary transitions. You're better off just pressing Alt+F4, but hell, who knows whether that might screw up your probably only savestate in this autosaving piece of console crap.
- Menu navigation is slooooow. You cannot press an arrow key and expect the menu to switch to the next point with that. No, you have to do things slowly, the way the game wants you to do it. It wants to complete its fancy text animation first before going to the next point.
- Game disregards Windows version locale, general Steam language setting and game-individual Steam language setting and runs in the location set in Windows system config, which is idiotic, because what's relevant is the language the user understands, not where he is located. I tried finding config files and couldn't, except one with two useless entries. I searched the Windows registry and couldn't find settings there either. Command line parameters? Who knows? Very likely not, since this is just another piece of crap carryover from consoles. I eventually, using a frickin hex editor like a code hacker, found all the available variables and the registry key for the config, which is "SSA\COI", which explains why my keyword search earlier remained unsuccessful. And, well, ... there is no language setting at all in this game. It is hardcoded to take the Windows locale setting, so you'd have to change that every time you play the game if it's not the desired language. And as you can derive from the game forums on Steam (which you should always consult before buying a game, after you've read some of the negative reviews), some people have no choice, their game being in Japanese.
This is the second game ♥♥♥♥ing me off in one day, the other one being Half-Life 2 with its botched update from Valve that caused a launch error for many people. I don't actually get to play games that much, because by the time I get one to run properly, the little motivation I had is gone. I feel like an IT support guy again, but in my free time, and with the difference that I'm actually paying money for the opportunity to deal with crap like this.
I'd demand a refund if I didn't know how annoying THAT would be with Valve, on top of all the hassle I already had.
One has to ask: Why does Valve, with a platform like Steam, even allow the games sold on it to violate its functional guidelines/principles?
The only game I feel like playing right now is Sniper Elite: Corporate Business Cleanup.
P.S.: Oh and the story of the game is the usual ancient-Christian-hate-propaganda-fueled evil-ugly-witch theme, but hey, this is a mickeymouse game after all, so that's to be expected.
TL;DR: Dis?! ... Ney!