The birds, the birds you see. They're angry, see. And they aren't ordinary birds, no. These birds, they're in space. And there's these space piggies, like mean green little space piggies up in the sky. And these birds, the birds in space, the angry ones, they see these mean green piggies, and I kid you not, I see them fling themselves as the piggies. It's the most goshdarned thing I've ever seen through my telescope. And that's not the crazy part. The crazy part is, I don't think they're just in space. I think they're on other planets, too. And these birds, they can fly. No, I mean, really, really fly. Not like birds down here, the ones that flap around like la la la la la, or just soar around, you know the eagles and falcons and the like. No, these birds, they don't seem to like gravity. They just kind of float and bounce. But the planets, see, they like the planets, and they fly down to them. Sometimes it makes them miss the piggies, and they gotta send more birds in. And sometimes, the birds smash into blocks of ice and wood and stone and stuff, and I swear I saw one fly itself into an asteroid, and it broke into a million jillion like bits, good gravy! Now, now, I mean the space rocks, not the birds, no. Never seen a bird in space blow up, before. Until I saw this one bird...naw, shouldn't talk about that. You might be eatin' your supper.
So, thought I should tell you. There's birds up there, you know in the Good Lord's heavens. And they're angry. Not sure what they're angry about, but you outta know about it, in case you go sticking your head up in the clouds or flying in one of the danged Virgin Galactic deathtraps or whatever. And warn those NASA fellas, if you can. Don't want no space shuttle runnin' into no birds on the way to Venus or something.