Choose between different factions, with their own set of expendable soldiers, mechas, and weapons. Protect your brain, mine gold, and destroy the enemy cortex in his bunker complex!
User reviews:
Recent:
Mostly Positive (36 reviews) - 72% of the 36 user reviews in the last 30 days are positive.
Overall:
Mostly Positive (1,388 reviews) - 79% of the 1,388 user reviews for this game are positive.
Release Date: Sep 28, 2012

Sign in to add this item to your wishlist, follow it, or mark it as not interested

Buy Cortex Command

 

About This Game

A project over eleven years in the making, Cortex Command has rich 2D pixel graphics coupled with an extremely detailed physics engine, which allows for highly replayable and emergent real-time action. There is also a turn-based strategic campaign mode which ties the tactical fights together, featuring persistent terrains that will accumulate the battle scars, debris, and bunker ruins through your entire campaign.

Choose from several unique technology factions, each featuring their own sets of expendable soldier bodies, mechas, weapons, tools, and landing craft. Protect your brain, mine the gold, and destroy the enemy cortex in his bunker complex!

Key Features:

  • Fully destructible environments - The gold you need to excavate is sprinkled throughout the terrain of each scene. Use special digging tools to blast your way into the dirt and debris. All the pieces of bodies and ships from your struggles will fall to the ground and permanently add to the battlefield. Get more powerful (and expensive) diggers and you can even tunnel into your enemies' bunkers from below!

  • Strategic metagame campaign – The intense, real-time tactical battles are put in a greater strategic context in the Campaign mode, thus giving each battle meaning and consequence. The gold-rich terrains on the planet and the defensive bunkers you build to defend them are persistent from fight to fight. This means there will be layers of debris, bunker ruins, tunnels, and corpses piled up in layers, telling the history of each place throughout each campaign played.

  • In-game buying menu - At any time and place during the game, bring up a powerful menu to order new bodies and equipment, all delivered at the location and by the transport ship of your choosing. Rockets are cheaper but unreliable and harder to land. Drop ships are far more expensive but can quickly deploy entire groups of puppets onto difficult terrain. Ships and equipment returned to the TradeStar are refunded to your account.

  • Build your own bunker - At the start of most missions, you are able to take your time and build your own command bunker from scratch. Easily design twisting tunnels and place doors, traps, and turrets to thwart your enemies' intrusions! Pre-deploy and equip bodies in and around your installation to prepare yourself for your objectives. Don't spend too much though, or you won't have enough funds left when the mission starts!

  • Four-player cooperative and/or versus multiplayer - Gather your friends and plug in those game controllers! Play skirmish or campaign missions with or against up to three of your buddies. 2 vs 2, 1 vs. 3, 4 vs. the CPU - it's up to you! (rhyme intended). Flexible control settings allow you to use the keyboard, keyboard + mouse, or any generic game controller you can find and plug in.

  • Built-in editors and modding - Several in-game editors allow you to easily create your own stuff. The game's engine is built to make it very simple to modify and add your own content. Design your own missions, guys, ships, weapons, tools, bombs, and shields - and easily share them with your friends. Join and download some fantastic mods from the community at the Data Realms Fan Forums.

  • Cortex Command is still being improved - The campaign mode and missions are fully playable, if not in a completely polished state yet. If you buy the game today, you will also have access to any and all future versions (not including sequels!)

System Requirements

Windows
Mac OS X
    Minimum:
    • OS: Microsoft® Windows® XP / Vista / 7
    • Processor: 1GHz processor
    • Memory: 1GB RAM
    • Hard Disk Space: 150MB HDD space
    • Video Card: 640x480 (VGA) resolution monitor
    • Additional: Should run on any PC released within the past 5 years.
    Recommended:
    • OS: Microsoft® Windows® XP / Vista / 7
    • Processor: 3GHz or faster
    • Memory: 2GB RAM
    • Hard Disk Space: 150MB HDD space
    • Video Card: 1920x1080 (full HD 1080p) resolution monitor
    • Additional: Should run on any PC released within the past 5 years.
    Minimum:
    • OSX:10.4 (OSX Tiger or Greater)
    • Processor:1.6 Ghz Core 2 Duo
    • RAM:1GB RAM
    • Graphics:Intel GMA X3100
    • Disk:300 mb
Customer reviews
Customer Review system updated! Learn more
Recent:
Mostly Positive (36 reviews)
Overall:
Mostly Positive (1,388 reviews)
Recently Posted
KaaLeppI
( 69.7 hrs on record )
Posted: July 26
Build your own base's and defend them and control your own troops to attack to other bases (and other's i mean AI's bases...) Now that's pretty fun to do. But the AI is pretty bad but the mod's are pretty great! The campain's pretty alright.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Frin
( 19.9 hrs on record )
Posted: July 25
Four ways to play the game.
One:
Spend all the money on every new workshop character you have.
Finds that your gun is barely a bullet.
Get your brains mangled or atleast by being a gentleman, shot/blown your brain off.

Two:
Get your brain has the brains.
Buy guns! Real GUNS
Participate on Torgue meetings
9/11 would watch another Micheal Bay.

Three:
Ask the brain to be dumb.
Build the best ♥♥♥♥ hole you got.
On every door get the most safest op weapon you got.
(Most likely lasers) 10/4 would join the dark side.

Four:
Well.....
The most legit air combat ever.
Only crafts(some comes up with guns) And Bombs
Actually it is just the result of Top Gun + Micheal Bay + Star Wars + W40k (Because exterminatus)
Helpful? Yes No Funny
AaToSMeD
( 0.4 hrs on record )
Posted: July 22
The game runs just fine but somehow I find myself confused as to what it is I'm supposed to actually do. After fiddling for a bit, I would rather just play Terraria.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Cortex
( 193.9 hrs on record )
Posted: July 20
gud gaime
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Duckroll
( 24.0 hrs on record )
Posted: July 20
I think it's fun and original, but a little buggy and underdeveloped.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Vivisector
( 1.4 hrs on record )
Posted: July 17
The concept of base-building and switching between bodies to take control of a planet is very interesting but its held back by horrible controls that are unresponsive and sluggish. It feels like you're controlling marshmallow people on a hiking trip.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
ArdanS
( 3.6 hrs on record )
Posted: July 16
(Please check the discussion page before judging my review. You will see that I'm not the only one to believe this game is abandoned, that this developer does not care for its fans and is only in it for the money. Discussions ahead that I found that explain my review.)

About updates
http://steamcommunity.com/app/209670/discussions/0/412447524178536077/

About Development
http://steamcommunity.com/app/209670/discussions/0/494632768632346979/

Plantoid Pioneers...
http://steamcommunity.com/app/209670/discussions/0/412449508285374775/

Is the game dead?
http://steamcommunity.com/app/209670/discussions/0/364040961434518944/

Cortex Command 2?
http://steamcommunity.com/app/209670/discussions/0/368542844488719362/


:::MY REVIEW:::

Save your money.

Just save your money. Please. Do me this small favor. I'll never bother you again...

Why you ask?

There are way better games on offer then this broken, never to be worked on again, maybe one more patch just to appease the nay sayers, hunk of ancient code.

Some people say "Buy it when it's on sale!"

Did they also tell you that this game has been in developement since 2011 (maybe even further back), and STILL its the same game.

Hardly anything has changed. This game is not done, and is in need of a lot of TLC.

Please. Please, just save your money.

Still won't heed my words?

Check the developers online site for their new game that surprisingly looks like the old one. The site is hardly ever updated and those pics and videos seem a bit shady if you ask me. I can take photos of myself at the receptions desk of big corporations and say they gave me the thumbs up too. Where is the proof? Where is the interactions? The reviews?

On Planetoid Pioneers. Their other never to be finished game.
http://steamcommunity.com/app/300260/discussions/0/361787186423742321/

Data Realms
Just finish Cortex Command. It has so much potential! Don't make the modders float your boat while you sail on peoples hard earned money.

Maybe one day this review will be a thumbs up too.

Cortex Command. You were my first early access title, before early access was even a thing.

You broke my heart.

P.S.
Thank you for taking the time to read my review and If you must get this game, please wait for a sale. Cortex Command is not worth 20 dollars.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
ɔɐɯqoqqoq
( 19.4 hrs on record )
Posted: July 16
Very poorly optimized, I've played it a lot and it can be fun but gets boring pretty quick
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Shade
( 15.8 hrs on record )
Posted: July 16
i luV it
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Quarts
( 152.5 hrs on record )
Posted: July 15
Simply put: Cortex command is very small. It is not a complete game, and it never will be complete. Although it isn't particularly buggy, its lack of content does not excuse its price.
This is really too bad, as it is very fun! The physics may not be realistic, but flying at high speeds across the map whilst blasting everything you see, including your own troops, with the various weapons the game offers is crazy fun. That combined with the satisfying way bodies blow apart and bleed powdery blood all over everything makes for a very promising start. Sadly, it does look like the game is dead.
Pros:
-Very satisfying: Messing around with the in game modifiers and with weapons can create some interesting results, and the gore is very well done despite its simplicity. The mechanics are Cortex's strong point by far, as they offer very comical over the top explosive action that remains organic.
-Surprisingly, crate bombs. Simply learning the best combinations of grenades to fill a crate with before scuttling it and blowing half the map up is very fun. Although its technically not really a feature, it was a happy accident. I wont spoil any of the different crate bomb effects, but try them out. (Just load a crate with a LOT of grenades.)
-Campaign. I couldn't decide whether to make this one a pro or a con. The campaign is a fun way to add somestructure to the chaotic gameplay, but dont expect much in the ways of strategy and story. In fact, dont expect any. Take this as you may.
-Factions: The factions are quite varied. Even if they do all work off of the same rules, they all do the same thing differently. The Coalition combine well rounded and armoured troops that aren't particularly expensive, with sub-par weapons. Their main advantage is their minigun drones, which, despite being practically immobile, can mow down enemies with incredible effectiveness. When used in a group, you can punch through bunker walls with streams of bullets.

Then there are the Dummies, who die in about 1 hit, are super cheap, and have better then average weaponry. Good for swarms, has good guns. Their Dreadnaught is next to useless as anything but a hallway defender.

The Ronin have better troops then the Dummies, but they still die fairly quickly. They have a heavy which will actually sustain damage and has a helmet, so I recommend using mostly heavies. Despite this, they have arguably the best guns in the game - their heavy machinegun is fantastic, their m16 packs a punch, and the RPG is basically a giant explosive sniper that one shots most things, and sends everything else flying off into the horizon.

The Techion have all the coolest guns and the most advanced stuff. Their heavy troop, instead of being beefy, never bleeds. They are light but expensive 0 very expensive. And their soldiers are overpriced. They do, however, have the most broken gun in the game. The Nucleo Swarm can kill anything from pretty much across the map.

The Browncoats are gigantic, pricy, and have okay guns.In fact, they are so heavy they dont really need guns. Just crushing people with your face will win the day. Despite this, arming every single Browncoat you deploy with a flamethrower makes for a lethal force, as that flamethrower is... Scary.

The Imperatus are not quite as heavy as the browncoats, but they have the most variety in the game. Their scout bots
are like dummies, and ought to be used like them. Good for quick deploy snipers, etc. They have an all rounder, and a heavy. Their guns focus on damage, and are thus usually unreliable but effective. Their running theme seems to be load times and single shot weapons.
-Excellent semi-retrosoundtrack: It kind of feels like it should be retro, but it isn't.
-Charming: The game has a neat visual style and tang, its more then just yet another lazy pixelated "stylized" game, it uses its pixelated style to achieve more then just a retro look, it has its own very cool sci-fi flavour. The backgrounds are well done, and the spaceships and maps do have style.
Cons:
-Lack of content to keep you playing: If you want to play Cortex Command for any longer then a week, I hope you like mods.
-Crazy pre game load screen: Though its not as bad when you dont download any mods, I strongly recommend you download mods, sooo...
It can take up to like 5 minutes just for the game to start up with mods, which is bad.
-Unbalanced: Whether or not this game really needs balance is debatable, as its more focused on action then anything. But I mentioned the Nucleo Swarm - there's more. Browncoats pretty much trump everything, and the Dummies are hopelessly underpowered, even with their devastating guns. Plus, I also mentioned crate bombs. You can win the game with them, without even paying much money. Not to mentioned, just stacking 10 soldiers with heavy weapons in one place and forming a squad will allow you to erase the map with bullets. Dropships can fly into things, killing everything, meaning you can win every game in campaign if you just kamikaze the enemy brain with your dropship at the beginning of the game. Luckily, the A.I. does not partake in such horrors, so you can just play honerably and ignore the imbalance.
-Lack of strategy and skill involved: this can be forgiven for the games focus on action and stupid situations, but it is true that the game isn't hard to master. The only difficulty you'll have getting in to it is the controls (get to that in a sec), and mastery doesn't go much farther then learning how to control the jetpack and how to melee. (By flying into people at high speeds and using your face to merge them into the ground, gibbing them, spoilers.)
-Controls: They are... Incompetant. Though after my time through the game (dont get me wrong, I actually love this game) I have learned them, beginners will have a hard time figuring out the questionable menu wheel. The WASD part is easy enough, though you do have to get used to the physics, (its a bit like playing octodad at first, expect to spend most of your time in the tutorial hurdling out of control) its the command wheel thats the problem. In order to do simple stuff like reload, you have to right click and release on a certain point on a wheel. This can be tedious, especially before you start to learn to do it naturally, and even after.
-Terrain issues: Anyone who has played Browncoats ona snow map knows my pain - you will get stuck. A lot.
Especially when tunneling, which is a big part of this game, you will spent most of your time hopelessly trying to get you face out of that pile of dirt. Single floating pixels and stop you dead, making you have to squirm to destroy them and move on. Every unit moving like they wet themselves doesn't help, and if you dont have a jetpack, god help you.

Overall, I have a hard time recommending it at full price, BUT - do not pass this review as pureply negetive! If the game is on sale or you have extra money kicking around, its worth a weekend of hilarity and fun. Its really too bad, becuase despite its numerous issues, the game is fun to play. So if you want it, get it, but like I said, its not quite worth the money. With mods it can be pretty fun, especially the joke mods that just add stupid stuff.
I did recommend simply becuase its got too much good going for it for me to say its bad. Its not "potential," it is a good game as it is, it just lacks content. 6/10, worth a look, but rarely keeps you for long.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Most Helpful Reviews  In the past 30 days
9 of 10 people (90%) found this review helpful
2 people found this review funny
Recommended
2.5 hrs on record
Posted: July 5
I freakin' love this game, I cant play it very well on my crappy laptop, but its still amazing.
Pros: Entirely destructible environment.
Huge amount of amazing mods.
Vast amounts of scenario battles.

Cons: Very very very slow developement.
Clunky controls.

If you are thinking about getting this game, Wait for a steam sale, dont make the same mistake I did.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
9 of 11 people (82%) found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
Recommended
10.3 hrs on record
Posted: July 3
Even though slightly tedious at times, I dont agree with 44/100. Its about 70. Good game.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
11 of 16 people (69%) found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
Not Recommended
3.6 hrs on record
Posted: July 16
(Please check the discussion page before judging my review. You will see that I'm not the only one to believe this game is abandoned, that this developer does not care for its fans and is only in it for the money. Discussions ahead that I found that explain my review.)

About updates
http://steamcommunity.com/app/209670/discussions/0/412447524178536077/

About Development
http://steamcommunity.com/app/209670/discussions/0/494632768632346979/

Plantoid Pioneers...
http://steamcommunity.com/app/209670/discussions/0/412449508285374775/

Is the game dead?
http://steamcommunity.com/app/209670/discussions/0/364040961434518944/

Cortex Command 2?
http://steamcommunity.com/app/209670/discussions/0/368542844488719362/


:::MY REVIEW:::

Save your money.

Just save your money. Please. Do me this small favor. I'll never bother you again...

Why you ask?

There are way better games on offer then this broken, never to be worked on again, maybe one more patch just to appease the nay sayers, hunk of ancient code.

Some people say "Buy it when it's on sale!"

Did they also tell you that this game has been in developement since 2011 (maybe even further back), and STILL its the same game.

Hardly anything has changed. This game is not done, and is in need of a lot of TLC.

Please. Please, just save your money.

Still won't heed my words?

Check the developers online site for their new game that surprisingly looks like the old one. The site is hardly ever updated and those pics and videos seem a bit shady if you ask me. I can take photos of myself at the receptions desk of big corporations and say they gave me the thumbs up too. Where is the proof? Where is the interactions? The reviews?

On Planetoid Pioneers. Their other never to be finished game.
http://steamcommunity.com/app/300260/discussions/0/361787186423742321/

Data Realms
Just finish Cortex Command. It has so much potential! Don't make the modders float your boat while you sail on peoples hard earned money.

Maybe one day this review will be a thumbs up too.

Cortex Command. You were my first early access title, before early access was even a thing.

You broke my heart.

P.S.
Thank you for taking the time to read my review and If you must get this game, please wait for a sale. Cortex Command is not worth 20 dollars.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
3 of 3 people (100%) found this review helpful
Recommended
152.5 hrs on record
Posted: July 15
Simply put: Cortex command is very small. It is not a complete game, and it never will be complete. Although it isn't particularly buggy, its lack of content does not excuse its price.
This is really too bad, as it is very fun! The physics may not be realistic, but flying at high speeds across the map whilst blasting everything you see, including your own troops, with the various weapons the game offers is crazy fun. That combined with the satisfying way bodies blow apart and bleed powdery blood all over everything makes for a very promising start. Sadly, it does look like the game is dead.
Pros:
-Very satisfying: Messing around with the in game modifiers and with weapons can create some interesting results, and the gore is very well done despite its simplicity. The mechanics are Cortex's strong point by far, as they offer very comical over the top explosive action that remains organic.
-Surprisingly, crate bombs. Simply learning the best combinations of grenades to fill a crate with before scuttling it and blowing half the map up is very fun. Although its technically not really a feature, it was a happy accident. I wont spoil any of the different crate bomb effects, but try them out. (Just load a crate with a LOT of grenades.)
-Campaign. I couldn't decide whether to make this one a pro or a con. The campaign is a fun way to add somestructure to the chaotic gameplay, but dont expect much in the ways of strategy and story. In fact, dont expect any. Take this as you may.
-Factions: The factions are quite varied. Even if they do all work off of the same rules, they all do the same thing differently. The Coalition combine well rounded and armoured troops that aren't particularly expensive, with sub-par weapons. Their main advantage is their minigun drones, which, despite being practically immobile, can mow down enemies with incredible effectiveness. When used in a group, you can punch through bunker walls with streams of bullets.

Then there are the Dummies, who die in about 1 hit, are super cheap, and have better then average weaponry. Good for swarms, has good guns. Their Dreadnaught is next to useless as anything but a hallway defender.

The Ronin have better troops then the Dummies, but they still die fairly quickly. They have a heavy which will actually sustain damage and has a helmet, so I recommend using mostly heavies. Despite this, they have arguably the best guns in the game - their heavy machinegun is fantastic, their m16 packs a punch, and the RPG is basically a giant explosive sniper that one shots most things, and sends everything else flying off into the horizon.

The Techion have all the coolest guns and the most advanced stuff. Their heavy troop, instead of being beefy, never bleeds. They are light but expensive 0 very expensive. And their soldiers are overpriced. They do, however, have the most broken gun in the game. The Nucleo Swarm can kill anything from pretty much across the map.

The Browncoats are gigantic, pricy, and have okay guns.In fact, they are so heavy they dont really need guns. Just crushing people with your face will win the day. Despite this, arming every single Browncoat you deploy with a flamethrower makes for a lethal force, as that flamethrower is... Scary.

The Imperatus are not quite as heavy as the browncoats, but they have the most variety in the game. Their scout bots
are like dummies, and ought to be used like them. Good for quick deploy snipers, etc. They have an all rounder, and a heavy. Their guns focus on damage, and are thus usually unreliable but effective. Their running theme seems to be load times and single shot weapons.
-Excellent semi-retrosoundtrack: It kind of feels like it should be retro, but it isn't.
-Charming: The game has a neat visual style and tang, its more then just yet another lazy pixelated "stylized" game, it uses its pixelated style to achieve more then just a retro look, it has its own very cool sci-fi flavour. The backgrounds are well done, and the spaceships and maps do have style.
Cons:
-Lack of content to keep you playing: If you want to play Cortex Command for any longer then a week, I hope you like mods.
-Crazy pre game load screen: Though its not as bad when you dont download any mods, I strongly recommend you download mods, sooo...
It can take up to like 5 minutes just for the game to start up with mods, which is bad.
-Unbalanced: Whether or not this game really needs balance is debatable, as its more focused on action then anything. But I mentioned the Nucleo Swarm - there's more. Browncoats pretty much trump everything, and the Dummies are hopelessly underpowered, even with their devastating guns. Plus, I also mentioned crate bombs. You can win the game with them, without even paying much money. Not to mentioned, just stacking 10 soldiers with heavy weapons in one place and forming a squad will allow you to erase the map with bullets. Dropships can fly into things, killing everything, meaning you can win every game in campaign if you just kamikaze the enemy brain with your dropship at the beginning of the game. Luckily, the A.I. does not partake in such horrors, so you can just play honerably and ignore the imbalance.
-Lack of strategy and skill involved: this can be forgiven for the games focus on action and stupid situations, but it is true that the game isn't hard to master. The only difficulty you'll have getting in to it is the controls (get to that in a sec), and mastery doesn't go much farther then learning how to control the jetpack and how to melee. (By flying into people at high speeds and using your face to merge them into the ground, gibbing them, spoilers.)
-Controls: They are... Incompetant. Though after my time through the game (dont get me wrong, I actually love this game) I have learned them, beginners will have a hard time figuring out the questionable menu wheel. The WASD part is easy enough, though you do have to get used to the physics, (its a bit like playing octodad at first, expect to spend most of your time in the tutorial hurdling out of control) its the command wheel thats the problem. In order to do simple stuff like reload, you have to right click and release on a certain point on a wheel. This can be tedious, especially before you start to learn to do it naturally, and even after.
-Terrain issues: Anyone who has played Browncoats ona snow map knows my pain - you will get stuck. A lot.
Especially when tunneling, which is a big part of this game, you will spent most of your time hopelessly trying to get you face out of that pile of dirt. Single floating pixels and stop you dead, making you have to squirm to destroy them and move on. Every unit moving like they wet themselves doesn't help, and if you dont have a jetpack, god help you.

Overall, I have a hard time recommending it at full price, BUT - do not pass this review as pureply negetive! If the game is on sale or you have extra money kicking around, its worth a weekend of hilarity and fun. Its really too bad, becuase despite its numerous issues, the game is fun to play. So if you want it, get it, but like I said, its not quite worth the money. With mods it can be pretty fun, especially the joke mods that just add stupid stuff.
I did recommend simply becuase its got too much good going for it for me to say its bad. Its not "potential," it is a good game as it is, it just lacks content. 6/10, worth a look, but rarely keeps you for long.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
6 of 9 people (67%) found this review helpful
5 people found this review funny
Recommended
104.2 hrs on record
Posted: July 7
Cortex Command is...

when it is easier to kill the enemy with your dropship's thruster flame than just shoot.
when your actor get killed by a random piece of an enemy rocket that you just destroyed.
when you get free crabs.
when you use your dropship to kill enemy brain before he digs into ground and take over a site.
when you get more free crabs.
when you took down a rocket by using dying hero without hands and legs.
when you get so much free crabs that everything exploded.
when you get an achievement for a crab bomb.
when you can build an amazing bunker.
when you can destroy an amazing bunker.
when you download a weapon from workshop that destroys your entire map and then crashes.
when you having fun.

10/10 would get stuck in a single dirt pixel in midair near enemy again.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
5 of 9 people (56%) found this review helpful
Not Recommended
19.4 hrs on record
Posted: July 16
Very poorly optimized, I've played it a lot and it can be fun but gets boring pretty quick
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
1 of 2 people (50%) found this review helpful
Recommended
24.0 hrs on record
Posted: July 20
I think it's fun and original, but a little buggy and underdeveloped.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
4 of 8 people (50%) found this review helpful
2 people found this review funny
Recommended
8.6 hrs on record
Posted: July 4
good game but not worth 15 pounds i got it off a website whom isnt allowed to be mensioned but it starts with a g and it goes 2 an a ;)
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
Most Helpful Reviews  Overall
426 of 466 people (91%) found this review helpful
460 people found this review funny
Recommended
10.6 hrs on record
Posted: January 2, 2015
One of my men jumped out of a crashing dropship and lost his arms and legs due to the resulting explosion, he then jetpacked into the air and used the force of his descent to crush two enemy soldiers with his torso. Afterwards he flew into a landing enemy dropship and made it crash before bleeding out.

A true hero that will never be forgotten.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
121 of 130 people (93%) found this review helpful
98 people found this review funny
Recommended
18.9 hrs on record
Posted: November 21, 2015
Jesus, this game is amazing.

It's like that time when you were a kid, and you had your action figures and were all like "OH NO, ROBOT ALIENS!" and you had one in your hand and made it cartwheel in, making swoosh noises as it smashes into the ground and looks up all like "ROAR! Robot Aliens are here to destroy you." And then you grab the Master Chief action figure and he's all like "Not today, Robot Aliens!" and starts laying waste to a horde of aliens with a big laser machine gun, but then a grenade blows up next to him, and you pull off his legs and you're all like "Oh no, Master Chief!" and he's all like "Don't worry, I don't need legs to kick ♥♥♥!" and you're all like "You kinda do...", but by that point there's a bunch of space marine drop pods all coming down to back him up so it doesn't even matter, and then a bunch more robot aliens start coming in and the space marines and Master Chief are just pumping lead into the main doorway, but then the bullet casings start piling up in the doorway behind them and Master Chief is like "You guys need to get out of here, or you'll end up trapped by bullet casings!" and the space marines are like "That's a ♥♥♥♥ing stupid ♥♥♥ justification for a epic sacrifice scene..." and Master Chief's all like "I've definitely had worse." But by that point there's a bunch of AT-STs lumbering for the doorway, so the space marines are all like "later, brah", and Master Chief starts an epic hold out in the room, and a bunch of laser fire blows his left arm off, but he pulls out his pistol and he's all like "SUCK ON THIS, ROBOT ALIENS!" and starts shooting at the AT-STs, which is super useless but it looks really cool. Then, just when it looks like all hope is lost, an inbound robot alien dropship accidentally bumps into a wall as it tries to drop off more robot aliens and it spirals out of control, smashing into the AT-ST's and sending chunks of them everywhere. One of them hits Master Chief in the face and tears off his helmet, and with 5 HP left, as he quickly bleeds out, Master Chief gets one final moment of peace before ragdolling facefirst into a mine and getting blown to ♥♥♥♥ing pieces.

10/10

(Check the system requirements because the physics modeling is CPU intensive, $20 purchase might leave you a little salty, keep an eye out for summer and winter sales, as it routinely goes down to $5, anything $10 or below will leave you with no regrets purchasing.)
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny