Bullet-hell, boss-battle, first-person shooter, with giant-robots, martinis and jetpacks. YES. Drink the cocktails. Fight the titans. Make your own Titans. Drink your friend's cocktails.
User reviews:
Recent:
Positive (10 reviews) - 90% of the 10 user reviews in the last 30 days are positive.
Overall:
Very Positive (529 reviews) - 85% of the 529 user reviews for this game are positive.
Release Date: Feb 19, 2014

Sign in to add this item to your wishlist, follow it, or mark it as not interested

Buy Drunken Robot Pornography

Buy Drunken Robot Pornography 3-Pack

Includes 3 copies of the game. 1 copy for yourself and 2 to give to friends.

 

About This Game

Drunken Robot Pornography (DRP) is a bullet-hell first-person shooter for Windows. Battle giant robots -- called Titans -- as they try to slice you apart with their lasers. Pick off their missile launchers, fry away their carbon fiber armor, and tear off their claws, leaving them writhing.

Drunken
You're Reuben Matsumoto. You used to own a bar.

Robot
You gave your robot bartender, Tim, sentience. He went nuts, stole your other 12 bots, and burned down your bar.

Pornography
He's attacking Boston with 20,000 drones, 40 Titans, and his lieutenants, the 12 Drunken Robot Centerfolds.

30-story tall giant robots. Jetpacks. Guns. It all started so innocently. Your robot bartender, Tim, used to make the best drinks at your nightclub. But you gave him sentience so that he could better empathize with the customers. Struck by the world's problems, he went crazy, burned your club to the ground, and fled with your twelve exotic robot dancers. Weeks later, giant robots started attacking the City of Boston -- not a coincidence!

Key features:

System Requirements

Windows
SteamOS + Linux
    • OS: Windows Vista, 7, 8
    • Processor: 1.7GHz Intel/AMD CPU
    • Memory: 2GB RAM
    • Graphics: 512MB 3D Card, Shader Model 3
    • DirectX®: 9.0c
    • Hard Drive: 2GB
    • Sound: DirectX Compatible Sound Card
    • OS: Ubuntu 12.04 or later
    • Processor: 1.7GHz Intel/AMD CPU
    • Memory: 2GB RAM
    • Graphics: 512MB 3D Card, Shader Model 3
    • Hard Drive: 2GB
Customer reviews
Customer Review system updated! Learn more
Recent:
Positive (10 reviews)
Overall:
Very Positive (529 reviews)
Recently Posted
[GGB] Khorrosion
( 1.1 hrs on record )
Posted: April 28
Had to fight a giant Robot Titan wearing a Top Hat. 10/10 for classy Robots.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
FEEL THE BERN 2016
( 0.4 hrs on record )
Posted: April 28
This game is ****ing amazing
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Tim-Jack-Steve-Jay Ja Crissspy
( 3.4 hrs on record )
Posted: April 20
My friend got me this game I swear
Helpful? Yes No Funny
PonyDestruction
( 0.8 hrs on record )
Posted: April 13
Just great !
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Geoffrey
( 0.6 hrs on record )
Posted: April 4
this game is called drunken robot pornography, need more be said, buy it
Helpful? Yes No Funny
TheTitaniumDragon
( 10.1 hrs on record )
Posted: March 25
Drunken Robot Pornography is a 3D FPS Bullet Hell Precision Platformer. Not only is the name a mouthful, but so is the genre.

According to the Steam description:

“You're Reuben Matsumoto. You used to own a bar. You gave your robot bartender, Tim, sentience. He went nuts, stole your other 12 bots, and burned down your bar. He's attacking Boston with 20,000 drones, 40 Titans, and his lieutenants, the 12 Drunken Robot Centerfolds.”

Oddly, the Robot centerfolds thing isn’t quite accurate; the in-game descriptions of them suggest that most of them were random robots which did things around the bar, with only a few of them being “exotic dancers”.

The game comes complete with a rap video in the menu screen, which is hilarious, well executed, and surprisingly catchy. That isn’t the only song in the game, either; there’s also a parody of the Kingston Trio’s M.T.A. (this one set on the MSTA – the Metropolitan Sky Transit Authority). The soundtrack in general is decent, but the two songs really stand out, and, given that every time a video game has actually done something like that I have felt impressed, it really makes me wonder why more video games don’t use songs in games.

In any case, the game’s plotline is light but funny. Reuben Matsumoto is a gritty-voiced sociopath. His sentient, living starfish suit – sadly never seen on-screen – is quirky and provides amusing commentary. You get some random voicemails throughout the game from a reporter, your uncle, your friend who helped you with the robots, and your nemesis, Tim.

All of this is fun.

The actual gameplay is more questionable, though.

The core of the gameplay for most of the levels is running/flying around the level on your jetpack (which has limited fuel per jump). You can gather up to four gun upgrades in each level (though many have fewer), which make you shoot faster/better/more powerfully/more spread shots (with limited ammo). There are a few powerups that a few levels have, most notably invincibility, a bomb, and a an orbital friendship rainbow cannon (which definitely isn’t a MLP reference, no sir).

The way the game works is that the player runs around shooting at one or more titans who spawn in the level. The goal is to kill all the titans. You do so by blasting them to bits, shooting off the outermost portions of them at first, and working your way inwards. You must shoot everything off of the core of the titan (or at least, ALMOST everything) in order to kill it. The net result of this is running around a 3D titan while blasting bits off of it.

As a bullet hell game, the game throws a bunch of independent enemies at the player, along with having the titan itself often unleash a hail of gunfire/bombs/ect. at the player. You have limited health, and standing still can often result in your death in a matter of seconds in some levels – or even in just a moment if you’re in the wrong place at the wrong time in a few places.

It starts off easy enough – almost too easy, really, but the idea is to get you used to the idea of how the game works. The first eight levels or so are all quite simple, and you’d think “Oh, this isn’t going to be so bad.”

Things then start going to hell.

The first real nasty level I ran into was around level 19. But the game has a very odd difficulty curve. And this is where we get into the flaw of this game.

Sometimes, people complain about games being badly designed when they really mean they’re badly programmed. Drunken Robot Pornography is a well-programmed, poorly-designed game.

The problem comes from the mix of genres I noted above. A 3D FPS bullet hell game suffers from a problem – you have a restricted field of view. This means if attacks are coming from above, below, or the sides, you can’t see them coming. Worse, some of the attacks clip through the scenery, meaning that if you’re behind a blocking wall, they can still hit you even though you can’t shoot back at them (or see them coming, in some cases).

Likewise, as many, many people know, precision platforming and the first-person perspective mix extremely poorly. The problem is that you can’t see where your feet are, and if you need to be looking in another direction when you jump (and you almost invariably do in this game), you can’t tell where you’re going to land. This is especially bad when you’re floating around through the air on your jetpack and need to land on a small launchpad to do so again. This is not helped by the game’s often-frantic pacing, and the fact that you need to continually move while fighting to avoid being destroyed by a hail of enemies and gunfire.

Finally, a few of the levels (most notably Tightrope, a late-game level) have extremely, extremely tight time limits.

The net result of this is that, even more than two years after its launch, according to the final level’s scoreboard, only 303 people had beaten the game. Glancing at the achievements, 78.5% of the people who played this game beat the first level. 2% of people beat the final boss. That suggests only about 1 in 40 people who start this game see it through.

And it isn’t that the game is all that long, either – it took me about 9 hours to beat the game and get 10 of the 11 achievements.

No, it is that some levels are incredibly, incredibly frustrating because the intrinsic design of the game fails to deal with the limitations its own genre sets for it.

The thing is, it isn’t that the levels get uniformly harder – the levels DO get harder as the game goes on, and there’s a difficulty curve to it. But superimposed on that are a few random difficulty spikes, levels which are extraordinarily more difficult than anything else in the game, usually because of some combination of a tight timer, enemies spawning behind the player or in such a configuration that it is difficult to strafe away from them all at the same time, and, most frequently, precision platforming.

The net result is that there are a few brick wall levels which are utterly miserable to beat, followed by a number of levels that the player is likely to beat on their first try. There is little rhyme or reason to this, and the robot boss levels – while often bearing snazzy music – are generally not appreciably more difficult than the others, though they generally do feel a bit snazzier in terms of design.

These difficulty spikes make the game difficult to recommend. The game’s levels, when they’re good, are generally reasonable enough, while the extremely difficult levels are often extremely frustrating. It isn’t that they’re unbeatable, it is that they are just extraordinarily difficult. I probably spent 75% of my playtime on about half a dozen of the most difficult levels, including the final level, a very neat level wherein you stand on the boss while you blow it to bits which pretty much exhibits all of the design flaws of the game.

The game is interesting, but I don’t know if it is good. Most people wouldn’t like it, and would get frustrated with it and give up. If being interesting is more important than being good, maybe this is worth a try, but if you have anything other than a very high threshold for frustration, it is best to steer clear.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Da Atte
( 2.7 hrs on record )
Posted: March 25
Addicting Bullet Nonsense

Drunken Robot Pronography... I... I don't really know how to explain this game to you. No, it doesn't have anything to do with pornography. Yes, it does have something to do with drunken robots. Or at least I think so.

Drunken Robot Pornography is a FPS-arcade-bullet-hell. And that's pretty much it. There's not much else going on with the game besides a pretty absurd and nonexistent plot. Don't get me wrong. The plot is fun but it's only a shell around the game. It doesn't enhance the experience by any means but gives you a couple of good laughs throughout the game. The gameplay is the thing in this game.

The gameplay of Drunken Robot Pornography is fun, original and tight. Even though the key gameplay elements are simple the hyperactive tempo of the gameplay and amount of things you need to keep track of you soon realize the controls are fine as they are. It's the eye coordination you need to get going.

But truthfully it's not the gameplay, nor the interesting title, but the transition between FPS game and a bullet-hell game. Drunekn Robot Pornography is the first proper FPS-bullet-hell game to be released and that's the main selling point of this game. Drunken Robot Pornography has it's flaws but because of how well they managed to create a FPS-bullet-hell game is amazing. If you've ever enjoued playing games like Touhou or eXceed and are looking for a bit different kind of experience you should buy this immmediatly.

For more recommendations and reviews on our favourite up and coming quality games follow Lot's O Giveaway's group curations here!
Helpful? Yes No Funny
GhostGK
( 2.5 hrs on record )
Posted: March 22
Crazy fun to be had in jumping around & running with a jet pack, fighting the Titans (huge robots who are bend on killing you with lasers, bombs, missiles), while listening to the awesome soundtrack, perfectly suited for the game..

(Note: No robot genitals or pornographic materials were shown during the process of playing this game..)
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Modus Pwnens
( 2.6 hrs on record )
Posted: March 14
A very, very neat idea for a game ruined by a few poor choices.

The basic gameplay is very fun - shooting the bosses apart is fun, trying to manage the pickups is fun, trying to keep the spawned enemies at bay is fun, trying to dodge the lasers is fun, the levels look fun, the music is fun, the ability to make custom bosses is fun. There's an awful lot to like.

But there are two big problems that really bring things down.

1. The first is the questionable choice to include levels without bosses. The bosses are the point of the game. The developer knows that - that's why they're in the videos. They're why people are playing the game. They're the best part. The game already has a ton of variety in bosses. And yet the game is filled with seemingly random levels that you have to play through where your only goal is achieving a certain score or collecting a number of items. Even some of the bosses require you to kill the spawns and grab the point pickups to achieve a certain score before the boss will spawn for some completely inexplicable reason (all while the timer is running down).

These levels and sections feel like padding. I think the idea was to inject some variety, but it doesn't end up being the good sort of variety. It just feels like mindless dreck you have to go through to get to what the game is really about. And the game has so many levels that it would be a perfectly acceptable length without these even if no more boss levels were added.

And while most of these levels are mercifully short and relatively easy, a random few will serve as towering difficulty walls. And it isn't fun when you're stuck replaying a level that doesn't interest you. It isn't fun to replay a level that isn't playing to the core idea and strengths of the game a dozen times in order to get to one that is,

2. Which gets to the second point: the difficulty. There's nothing uniformly wrong with the difficulty. The game gets hard and it's mostly a good kind of hard. Learning to multitask and move around and aim with the different powerups and dismantle the bosses and navigate the levels is all, on the whole, satisfying. The problem is that the difficulty is incredibly uneven in places. You'll breeze through ten levels in a row on your first try without breaking a sweat only to encounter a level that suddenly takes you two dozen tries only to finish it and then breeze through the next ten. It isn't that these levels are necessarily unfair either - the difficulty is still of a tolerable kind - they just seem profoundly out of order. This happens repeatedly throughout the campaign. In a few particularly egregious cases, it's impossible not to wonder how a few minutes' testing didn't reveal these problems.

Ultimately, Drunken Robot Pornography is a great game with some faults that eventually become too hard to overlook. It's a game that's easy to fall in love with, but that you're likely to ultimately have to break up with. In this case, I think it might be better to have never loved at all.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Ran
( 5.5 hrs on record )
Posted: March 14
it's fun
Helpful? Yes No Funny
rhinoh
( 1.4 hrs on record )
Posted: March 4
this is actually better than hentai so u weebs get off hentai and get on this game
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Fraggot
( 9.9 hrs on record )
Posted: March 2
This is a rather lovely little game, that has some tricky parts that, at times get frustratingly difficult. It's fine, it just sometimes gives you a bit of a headache. I still recommend it. It controls smoothly, plays well, and has a great aesthetic. Cool stuff.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
fri_freeman
( 2.8 hrs on record )
Posted: February 27
A pretty much plotless arena-type fps where you fight boss battles against giant robots with massive firepower and do time attacks for score. Beautiful, clean, simple, stylistic, easy in the eye 3d artstyle.

Also no pornography so far.

...except if you consider that each robots you fight are completely clotheless. Hmm...
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Deostr #Hankey
( 7.6 hrs on record )
Posted: February 17
It's D to the R to the Capital P; it stands for Drunken Robot Pornography; Proposed, Designed, and Built Courtesy; of Dejobaan Mechatronic Industries.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
dandyandys
( 5.9 hrs on record )
Posted: February 11
The full review can be found on Start 2 Continue .

Excerpt:

If you’re less confused about the Drunken Robot Pornography part of this review and more confused about the “bullet hell style shoot ‘em up” part, this simply means that it’s one of those frustratingly difficult and potentially seizure-inducing games where you dance around trying to avoid enemy fire as much as trying to shoot back. And good it may be, let’s be honest: half the fun of the game is telling people you’re playing Drunken Robot Pornography and watching their reactions to the title.

You find yourself filling the shoes of Reuben Matsumoto, the previous owner of a robot-run bar in a shiny, near-future version of Boston. In order to better serve your fine establishment’s patrons, you decided to give your robo-bartender, Tim, sentience. This is all well and good – that is, until Tim finally snaps under the pressure listening everyone’s problems. Instead, he destroyed the bar, took off with your 12 dancing robot employees and together, begun an assault on the city.

...

While Drunken Robot Pornography certainly has its moments of overly frustrating difficulty, it is a very fun game to pick up for short bursts. Each level is generally limited to a couple minutes at most making it a great choice to start up while dinner is cooking. The small amount of time for each level is not a representation for the length of the game itself. There are tons of levels to be played as you try to save Boston from the mechanical attackers as well as the option to build your own levels and play those made by community members.

The $15 price tag is not bad when considering the fun the game brings and it usability as a non-time consuming experience. Personally I would look for a sale on it as it can come down pretty far in price (I got it for only $3.75) making it even more worth the investment. This game is not for the faint at heart, well, at least not for those prone to epilepsy, but it is a good game for players of all skill levels to pick up and learn.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
idigo
( 1.4 hrs on record )
Posted: February 11
Lives up to its name
Helpful? Yes No Funny
TheSquishyYetti
( 2.0 hrs on record )
Posted: February 5
Well, you see, this game is amazing.. However, I've rage quit more on this game than I have on lovely planet.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Most Helpful Reviews  In the past 30 days
1 of 1 people (100%) found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
Recommended
3.4 hrs on record
Posted: April 20
My friend got me this game I swear
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
Most Helpful Reviews  In the past 90 days
7 of 8 people (88%) found this review helpful
Recommended
2.7 hrs on record
Posted: March 25
Addicting Bullet Nonsense

Drunken Robot Pronography... I... I don't really know how to explain this game to you. No, it doesn't have anything to do with pornography. Yes, it does have something to do with drunken robots. Or at least I think so.

Drunken Robot Pornography is a FPS-arcade-bullet-hell. And that's pretty much it. There's not much else going on with the game besides a pretty absurd and nonexistent plot. Don't get me wrong. The plot is fun but it's only a shell around the game. It doesn't enhance the experience by any means but gives you a couple of good laughs throughout the game. The gameplay is the thing in this game.

The gameplay of Drunken Robot Pornography is fun, original and tight. Even though the key gameplay elements are simple the hyperactive tempo of the gameplay and amount of things you need to keep track of you soon realize the controls are fine as they are. It's the eye coordination you need to get going.

But truthfully it's not the gameplay, nor the interesting title, but the transition between FPS game and a bullet-hell game. Drunekn Robot Pornography is the first proper FPS-bullet-hell game to be released and that's the main selling point of this game. Drunken Robot Pornography has it's flaws but because of how well they managed to create a FPS-bullet-hell game is amazing. If you've ever enjoued playing games like Touhou or eXceed and are looking for a bit different kind of experience you should buy this immmediatly.

For more recommendations and reviews on our favourite up and coming quality games follow Lot's O Giveaway's group curations here!
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
8 of 11 people (73%) found this review helpful
Recommended
5.9 hrs on record
Posted: February 11
The full review can be found on Start 2 Continue .

Excerpt:

If you’re less confused about the Drunken Robot Pornography part of this review and more confused about the “bullet hell style shoot ‘em up” part, this simply means that it’s one of those frustratingly difficult and potentially seizure-inducing games where you dance around trying to avoid enemy fire as much as trying to shoot back. And good it may be, let’s be honest: half the fun of the game is telling people you’re playing Drunken Robot Pornography and watching their reactions to the title.

You find yourself filling the shoes of Reuben Matsumoto, the previous owner of a robot-run bar in a shiny, near-future version of Boston. In order to better serve your fine establishment’s patrons, you decided to give your robo-bartender, Tim, sentience. This is all well and good – that is, until Tim finally snaps under the pressure listening everyone’s problems. Instead, he destroyed the bar, took off with your 12 dancing robot employees and together, begun an assault on the city.

...

While Drunken Robot Pornography certainly has its moments of overly frustrating difficulty, it is a very fun game to pick up for short bursts. Each level is generally limited to a couple minutes at most making it a great choice to start up while dinner is cooking. The small amount of time for each level is not a representation for the length of the game itself. There are tons of levels to be played as you try to save Boston from the mechanical attackers as well as the option to build your own levels and play those made by community members.

The $15 price tag is not bad when considering the fun the game brings and it usability as a non-time consuming experience. Personally I would look for a sale on it as it can come down pretty far in price (I got it for only $3.75) making it even more worth the investment. This game is not for the faint at heart, well, at least not for those prone to epilepsy, but it is a good game for players of all skill levels to pick up and learn.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
4 of 6 people (67%) found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
Not Recommended
2.6 hrs on record
Posted: March 14
A very, very neat idea for a game ruined by a few poor choices.

The basic gameplay is very fun - shooting the bosses apart is fun, trying to manage the pickups is fun, trying to keep the spawned enemies at bay is fun, trying to dodge the lasers is fun, the levels look fun, the music is fun, the ability to make custom bosses is fun. There's an awful lot to like.

But there are two big problems that really bring things down.

1. The first is the questionable choice to include levels without bosses. The bosses are the point of the game. The developer knows that - that's why they're in the videos. They're why people are playing the game. They're the best part. The game already has a ton of variety in bosses. And yet the game is filled with seemingly random levels that you have to play through where your only goal is achieving a certain score or collecting a number of items. Even some of the bosses require you to kill the spawns and grab the point pickups to achieve a certain score before the boss will spawn for some completely inexplicable reason (all while the timer is running down).

These levels and sections feel like padding. I think the idea was to inject some variety, but it doesn't end up being the good sort of variety. It just feels like mindless dreck you have to go through to get to what the game is really about. And the game has so many levels that it would be a perfectly acceptable length without these even if no more boss levels were added.

And while most of these levels are mercifully short and relatively easy, a random few will serve as towering difficulty walls. And it isn't fun when you're stuck replaying a level that doesn't interest you. It isn't fun to replay a level that isn't playing to the core idea and strengths of the game a dozen times in order to get to one that is,

2. Which gets to the second point: the difficulty. There's nothing uniformly wrong with the difficulty. The game gets hard and it's mostly a good kind of hard. Learning to multitask and move around and aim with the different powerups and dismantle the bosses and navigate the levels is all, on the whole, satisfying. The problem is that the difficulty is incredibly uneven in places. You'll breeze through ten levels in a row on your first try without breaking a sweat only to encounter a level that suddenly takes you two dozen tries only to finish it and then breeze through the next ten. It isn't that these levels are necessarily unfair either - the difficulty is still of a tolerable kind - they just seem profoundly out of order. This happens repeatedly throughout the campaign. In a few particularly egregious cases, it's impossible not to wonder how a few minutes' testing didn't reveal these problems.

Ultimately, Drunken Robot Pornography is a great game with some faults that eventually become too hard to overlook. It's a game that's easy to fall in love with, but that you're likely to ultimately have to break up with. In this case, I think it might be better to have never loved at all.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
1 of 2 people (50%) found this review helpful
Most Helpful Reviews  In the past 180 days
212 of 305 people (70%) found this review helpful
320 people found this review funny
86 of 136 people (63%) found this review helpful
147 people found this review funny
Recommended
1.6 hrs on record
Posted: November 24, 2015
Before I played:
\\ _
   \( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
    < ⌒ヽ
   /   へ\
   /  / \\
   レ ノ   ヽ_つ
  / /
  / /|
 ( (ヽ
 | |、\
 | 丿 \ ⌒)
 | |  ) /
`ノ )  Lノ
After I played:
/フフ         ム`ヽ
/ ノ)  ) ヽ
/ |  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ノ⌒(ゝ._,ノ
/ ノ⌒7⌒ヽーく  \ /
丶_ ノ 。   ノ、 。|/
   `ヽ `ー-'_人`ーノ
    丶  ̄ _人'彡)

100/10 Would have a seizure again. The only con is that i like my martini shaken not stirred.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
20 of 25 people (80%) found this review helpful
5 people found this review funny
Recommended
7.1 hrs on record
Posted: December 14, 2015
This game is so good, an unholy union of platformer, first person shooter and bullet hell.
By all means it should not exit.
But I am so ♥♥♥♥ing glad it does.

A challenging game with quite a bit of "dip your toes into the water" levels to get you warmed up.
In fact you'll probably think it's too easy after playing the first 3 missions but they were just preparing you for the struggle ahead, this is not an easy game but god damn it's so satisfying to mawl down hundreds of enemies.

Only complain is the inability to listen to the soundtrack or the lack of a list of songs MOST OF THE MUSIC IN THIS GAME IS ♥♥♥♥ING AMAZING
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
13 of 17 people (76%) found this review helpful
Recommended
2.3 hrs on record
Posted: November 24, 2015
The main menu song is awesome and so is the game, but please add multiplayer or co-op it would make this even better :D
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
7 of 12 people (58%) found this review helpful
3 people found this review funny
Recommended
4.6 hrs on record
Posted: December 11, 2015
♥♥♥♥ THIS GAME
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
1 of 1 people (100%) found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
Recommended
8.6 hrs on record
Posted: November 29, 2015
(There's a TLDR version at the bottom)
This game is... Just so hard to review...

First off I'd like to say this game is 100% clean.
No porn.
No alcohol glorification.
No violence.
It's basically a kids game with a really obcene title. (that doesn't mean it's not challenging or creative, mind you.)

Drunken robot pornography (or DRP for short) is a flashy, fast-paced, intense, and deeply challenging game.
It's also the most rage inducing game I've ever played.

So do I reccomend this game?
Well, you don't have to be a genius to see that I reccomended it at the top.
Why though?
Because it's fun as hell!
Flying around shooting robots is some of the most fun I've had in quite some time.
It makes you feel like a kid again, jumping around going "pew pew pew!" With your little gun taking down enourmous robots and watching as everything explodes.
But this fun comes at a price.
A hefty price at that.

When you get into the game for the first time, you'll notice it's really easy.
Trust me, it doesn't stay that way for long.
You know how those "unfair" games are pretty rage inducing, because they're... Well, unfair?
This game is worse.
Why?
Because it's all your fault.
That's right, if you ♥♥♥♥ up, it's on you.
While in other rage games, you can pretty much blame your failure on something else.
For example, in "unfair" games you can blame it on the fact that the game is literally rigged against you.
But theres some games where you can't blame it on things, like hotline miami for example.
So why isn't hotline miami as rage-inducing as this game?
It's simple. "press R to restart."
In games like hotline miami and super meat boy, you can't blame the game, you have to blame yourself.
But it doesn't matter, since you can just hit R and restart.
And since each level takes roughly 30 seconds - 1 minute to complete (depending on if you take it slow or not) you aren't losing anything real.
What does this have to do with this game?
First off, you can't blame the game,
Second, each level takes AT LEAST 1 minute, sometimes up to 5 minutes to complete a level.
And since it's really easy to die in this game (health packs = as rare as winning the lottery)
You have to restart time.
"So what?" I hear you saying.
"3 minutes isn't an eternity."
There's this one level called "fling yourself." Where you have to take out 4 titans within the alloted time.
I spent so long trying to beat this level and I recently finished it, but I spent nearly an hour on it. Thats nearly 30 times I killed the same old 4 bosses in the same old arena FOR A ♥♥♥♥ING HOUR!
By the end when I finally beat the level, I felt not like I had beaten a major accomplishment, but that I had survived a holocaust.

It also does this weird thing which I'm not sure is innovative or quirky, where sometimes it'll introduce a new concept like collecting alcohol without a gun trying to avoid attacks, or standing at capture points for small lengths of time, and then it never uses them ever again and goes back to the normal shoot bosses/get points sort of thing. It's really weird, and since the level are manditory it fells like they threw a bunch of stuff at the wall hoping it'd stick but none of it did.

So should you get this game?
Well, if you rage quit easily, stay the HELL away from it.
If you like action-packed fast paced games focused on fun over all else, then this is definetly the game for you.
Just don't play it if you get mad over games. I really wanted to punch my computer.

TLDR: It's a really fun and fast paced action game that can be really rage inducing
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
6 of 11 people (55%) found this review helpful
3 people found this review funny
Recommended
1.7 hrs on record
Posted: November 24, 2015
Lives up to the title.

Thumbs up.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
Most Helpful Reviews  Overall
490 of 610 people (80%) found this review helpful
6 people found this review funny
Recommended
5.7 hrs on record
Posted: November 25, 2013
It's a pretty fun game for people who are:
A. Humans
B. Non-Humans
C. Christopher Walken
D. All of the Above

I have had serious fun with this game since early testing copies were sent out. The alpha builds that I have played have shown so much effort put into improving the experience for everybody. I am seriously psyched to see where the full version of this game leads one of Dejobaan's finest works from these early builds.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
6,100 of 8,290 people (74%) found this review helpful
334 people found this review funny
Not Recommended
0.1 hrs on record
Posted: February 20, 2014
Not actually porn.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
295 of 394 people (75%) found this review helpful
3 people found this review funny
Recommended
8.3 hrs on record
Posted: February 19, 2014
You fly around with a jetpack shooting robot space hamburgers and collecting alcohol for points and then a giant robot comes out of nowhere and tries to kill you with a bunch of lasers.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
161 of 203 people (79%) found this review helpful
Recommended
9.2 hrs on record
Posted: December 9, 2013
NOTE: The first half of this review was written before the release of the full game.

"A first person danmaku? That will never work!" Ohhh how wrong I was...

This is a spectacular game full of intense bullet dodging action and lots of shooting. It is so very satisfying to shoot the limbs off of a giant death machine and then blow up the core. Some of the missions that would be more "gimicky" are actually really solid (such as the muffin collecting which I adore. Srsly. Keep the collectables muffins.) The humor is wonderful and I can't wait to see what sort of fun changes the future of this game holds. To top it off the soundtrack is AMAZING. Every song is spot on and matches the lighthearted feel of the game.

The only issue I take is the difficulty curve. Some missions are aboslutely burtally hard while others are laughably easy. I'm sure that will get ironed out but it really doesn't detract from the overall game. This is a must own gem for anyone who likes a challenge and making things blow up.

Edit: Now that the full game is out I felt it was best that I update this. First and foremost I want to state that my opinion of the game has largely stayed the same in terms of its quality and fun factor so take my criticisms with a grain of salt.

First and foremost: The voice acting. It's good, quality voice acting and the dialouge is sharp and funny. It just... Was unneeded. The game was already hilarious with just the premise and I suppose if the dialogue was just limited to the suit talking and/or making some quips at the robots it would be fine. But I thought the limited story silent protagonist was fine. So i'm kind of on the fence about it. I'd have to lean toward not liking it though. (The threats by the robot bartender on the answering machine and the pestering news lady etc are hilarious though and need to be there) The voice of the pickups also changed which is fine but I kinda miss the original.

Secondly: The gun. Ohhhhh boy... Part of the funness of the gun was the feeling that you were just obliterating everything on screen. Especially with how you could see the bullets go faaaaaar and watch them break stuff. But the bullets were changed from spheres to these little illogical laser beams (not that there was much logic in this game in the first place) and some of their impact went away. I suppose its nitpicky for me to feel this way but I liked the spheres better. They felt more satisfying. I can see why they were possibly changed since th spheres could possibly hide bullets that you wanted to dodge, but it wasn't so problematic that it warrented a change. Maybe a small drop in opacity and thats it.

Thirdly: The graphics and sound. OH MY GOD ITS SO SHINY! also the sounds are wonderful. The sounds of the explosions rivals the ones in Colony Wars in terms of the satisfaction one gets from hearing them. Also, the bright and upbeat colors just make the entire game a treat to look at. Music is great too. If a soundtrack was released I'd put it on my iPod.

Again, this game is still a must buy. The addition of extra missions and the sheer insanity of this game is great. The difficulty makes it very fun and makes you want to keep playing. Now, due to REAL LIFE I havent' finished the game yet. Here's hoping they didn't remove the muffin collection missions. They were some of the best things in the early access.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
355 of 485 people (73%) found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
Not Recommended
3.8 hrs on record
Posted: February 20, 2014
I'm afraid i can't in the least bit recommend this game. I so wanted to love it, and it seriously looked amazing on the trailers.
It had such promise, and it manages to cash in pretty much none of that. There's no feeling of bullet hell of any sort, outside of the gun you're firing when it's actually powered up. You don't need to even concider dodging bullets or beams, because the game's bosses, titans, are actually extremely brittle, and it's trivial to shoot out their weapons in an instant, leaving them as little more than static pieces of scenery.

The only threat in the game comes from the seemingly infinitely spawning random little drone enemies, as well as an indescribably silly decision to put in a time limit.

The game looks great, the bosses look great, so much so, that i'm very sure 80% of the development time went for polishing the graphic quality, at the cost of such small, to them, seemingly less important concepts like gameplay, entertainment, or challenge. The intro song to the game is actually far more entertaining than the game itself, and i think whoever wrote that has a great career ahead of them.

It tells a great deal, that after 15 levels during the writing of this, the leaderboards have only 10 entries, where in the beginning, there were hundreds. The vast majority of people grew bored of the game in less than an hour. With that being said, i can't understand why there are so many positive reviews of it... One citing especially how it has improved over time. I would not have wanted to see the earlier revisions, then.

The creation of your own arena and boss would be an extremely interesting thing, and it was the main draw in the game for me... sadly, however, there's little to no enjoyment in the game, so there's little to no point in taking the effort of creating anything for it.

On a personal note, the vast majority of the game's in-level music is also awful, but it is easy to turn it off. I shouldn't need to do that, however. The music in the trailers are, outside of the theme song, the sole good tracks in the game. The rest are the worst of the worst kind of dubstep.


PS. I think the game would be far, far, far more interesting, if the health pools of the bosses were 10x the value of all parts combined, and you could not shoot off parts. The decision not to do a unified health system, but allow the players to completely make the bosses harmless baffles me to no end.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
129 of 160 people (81%) found this review helpful
164 people found this review funny
Recommended
7.6 hrs on record
Posted: December 1, 2014
contrary to popular belief this is not a game you can play effectively with one hand
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
284 of 392 people (72%) found this review helpful
170 people found this review funny
Recommended
0.6 hrs on record
Posted: October 31, 2014
expected porn.




♥♥♥♥ is not porn
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
83 of 98 people (85%) found this review helpful
90 people found this review funny
Recommended
3.9 hrs on record
Posted: February 21, 2015
There wasn't any porn.

8/10 It was okay
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny