At the age of 16, my character developed a mad crush on a local girl. He crept into her room and banged her, then declared he loved her. 9 months later she gave birth to a child, he decided he didn't like it, smothered this child in its crib, pushed his lover off a balcony and then married a horny Greek princess and did it all over again until he commited suicide at the age of 72 because his son turned gay after coming back from a visit to Constantinople. Brilliant!

I haven't played this game that much, but it's pretty solid.

9/10

Determined to unite Ireland. Crazy Norse wife kills all my spymasters, poisons 2 of my sons in less than a year.

Half a year later adventurer from spain threatens me and I think "It's fine, he's no threat to me." 1 year later, 30,000 angry men attack my fledgling, petty kingdom, vassals declare independance, revolt happens and king dies from head injury in battle.

3 year old son put on the throne only to be poisoned by wife.

10/10, would play again.

Married my 4 month old son to a 68 year old to improve diplomatic relations.

11/10

Noticed one day that my little boy turned gay all of a sudden.

Couldn't think of any good reason for it, so I click on his "Relations" tab.

And what do I see? My uncle, listed as my boy's "Lover."

10/10, would imprison and execute my pedophilic gay uncle again.

With 400 hours played, my biggest hope is that they stop releasing new DLC so that I can stop buying it.

best incest simulator of the decade

10/10 would lannister more

I bribed the pope, murdered a whole family, including babies. Was granted the title 'the Holy'.

10/10

I no longer see people. I only see tools that I can use to further my own ends. Friends? Pfah! They will wear a smile on their face as they twist the knife in your back. Family? All envious of my position and willing to eat eachother just for a chance at my crown. Children? More tools in my political war chest to use as I see fiUURRRRRK...

Welp, My pops is dead. Guess that makes me king now.
Sooo... Who wants cake?

I thought I was a moral person. I was wrong.

My newest concubine, gained from conquest, has a twin sister.

Thousands die so I can complete the set. Sweet, sweet concubine twins. Then my wife murders me.

10/10

I guess it's a decent game. I'd certainly reccomend it.

I got assassinated by a 1 year old.

10/10

Great game. I ruled the new Roman Empire as a homosexual eunuch drunk who liked gardening until I was killed by a manure bomb.

Meh, the fun only lasts for a little bit, so I didn't play for very long.

They killed my son, the perfect child of a 300 years of eugenics-tier breeding and conditioning...

So I burned their Empire to the GROUND.

10/10 Eugenics Sim. Beautiful.

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Click for Gameplay Trailer - Preview

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Graphics:
+ pleasant world map
+ pretty menus
- spartan combat animations
- low-detail world

Atmosphere:
+ authentic and well-researched middle ages
+ building personal relationships is an engrossing endeavor

Sound:
+ appropriate music pieces
- no voice output
- thin soundscape

Balance:
+ five levels of difficulty
+ helpful tutorial
- initially much "trial and error"

Units:
+ countless noble personalities
+ dynasty family tree
+ conscripts and mercenaries
- few units on the map

Endless Game:
+ surprising events
+ intrigue
+ every time another course of history

Game Size:
+ around 100 hours
+ four campaigns
+ huge replay value
+ multiplayer mode

That's it though: Once be a famous king who defends his power, intrigue spins and defeated rivals! Crusader Kings 2 of Paradox offers exclusive to the medieval job now, where you have to manage your own particular family in real time. Prepares the ruling also joy? Thousands of years of warfare, culture clashes, technological advances, political upheaval and intrigue.

There are no tangible goal, be found in Crusader Kings II. Your task is simply the patchwork of feudal states, Europe and the Mediterranean in the Middle Ages, however you include and expand to take your power desired. After you choose a starting point somewhere 1066-1337 to play, like any head of state long ago absorbed from the ruler of the Holy Roman Empire to the king of a tiny area of a larger nation.
Relationships are really tricky things and in Crusader Kings II, but they are the core of the game. Like other nobles you see both in your own area as well as internationally, affects the actions you can take and how efficient you are as a ruler. You can manipulate others through a variety of methods.
In your own yard can be the people providing titles or honors and landed every character, regardless of which court they are, have their own ambitions that you can help them with. If you want to befriend the widowed King of Poland, you can offer him one of your beautiful daughters.
You will get an alliance (marriage is the only way you can to make such relations), and if they both have the ambition marriage, you're going to make them even happier. If you succeed it makes you as a puppeteer at the highest level to feel.

While you sit tight and play the role of a pacifist, the best way to build your dynasty is about to overtake other areas and expand the boundaries of your kingdom. This task usually requires a careful combination of diplomacy, intrigue and all-out military conflict.
Building an army is an expensive proposition in Crusader Kings II, so you need a robust economy before you spend money on new training structures in your various holdings. Likewise, maintaining an active army that is called up to war adds a big cost to your monthly expenses, making it easy to dip into the red and burn through your gold reserves in a hurry.

The handful of events you can cause through decisions are always the same and after you've held a couple of feasts and tournaments they stop being very memorable, they just become a way for you to potentially augment your stats. They are welcome diversions and thanks to the random nature of the game the outcomes frequently differ even if you've witnessed the event several times before, but I can't help but wish there was more variety.

But don't let that discourage you from giving it a go because even in spite of its learning curve, Crusader Kings II is absolutely worth the time investment. Playing the game against real people adds a lot of excitement, whether coordinating with human allies in a combined war effort or rubbing their noses in a failed assassination attempt.

It is that the scale and potential for an entertaining story after another, the Crusader Kings II make so captivating. There are so many small interactions to allow you to experience for a payout and so much potential, if your planning and scheming finally come to fruition. It's an incredibly dynamic game that seems to perfectly simulate the state of flux that Europe and the Middle East were in during the Middle Ages. An intense learning curve, but a unique strategy experience.

Score: 82 / 100


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King of England took my wife prisoner and executed her. I killed his daughter. She was 4. Killed his son. He was 1. Killed his dad; he had pneumonia. Killed him. Married his wife. Took England. 10/10

Just minding my own business down in the little duchy of Serbia when three royal marriages and two feasts later I get a notification that I have inherited the entire kingdom of Denmark.

This game, with all of its DLCs for its full potential, is absolutely brilliant in that it brings character customisation and character development to a whole new level. Certainly different from the other Paradox Interactive franchises but in the best way possible. Each Paradox Interactive grand strategy has their own unique focus of gameplay which corresponds accurately to the time period and Crusader Kings II has definitely nailed it with their focus on indepth feudal systems and royal relations.

10/10 - IGN

Arrested a Duke's son for trying to murder his father.
Duke gained a -50 opinion modifier towards me for imprisoning his son.
50/10