A fine installation in the Age of Empires series that has a greater emphasis on combat as well as teaching you about things other than human resource management and medieval history lessons. Instead, you will gain a deep knowledge of zoology and learn how to beat up people and steal their stuff.
>Zoology Lessons – Some things you will learn: Capybaras and tapirs live in Central and South America, Ibex, Saigas, and Marco Polo sheeps live in central Asia, Serows live in Japan and the rest of Asia.
>Japanese Daimyos can materialize samurai out of thin air.
>Shogun Tokugawa is a wizard that can open portals to other worlds and summon the likes of monks with clubs, shinobi that shoot grenades using their bows, and entire artillery companies.
>The original American Continental Marines were an army of Japanese Ronin Samurai mercenaries.
>If you throw a lot of torches into a building, it will not burn. However, it will break apart and then finally explode.
>Native American fire pit dances generate magic that they put to use in battle, putting Warcraft spellcasters to shame.
>Medicine men, surgeons, and priests all perform the same healing magic.
>Even standing near an idle monster truck could be lethal.
>Even before the creation of the United States, George Washington always knew he’d end up on both the quarter and the dollar bill.
>As an Asian power, you can ally with your enemy through the consulate… and still wage war with their forces with soldiers from their own home country.
>Chinese flamethrowers never burn anything, they just kill it and blow it up.
>The British employed the use of longbowmen well into the 1800s.
>Cuauhtemoc of the Aztecs is a cool guy; he has a blood fetish and refers to himself in third person.
>Queen Isabella so desperate, she’ll sleep with Cuauhtemoc
>Akbar of the Indians is worse than a fervent Jehovah’s Mormon as he constantly attempts to convert you to his religion (Hinduism) while beating him up. On the bright side, he can’t nuke you like Gandhi.
>Russian strelets are a gift from the Aztec blood gods.
>Russian strelets are equipped with large foam axes and airsoft muskets.
>Created an Iroquois home city called Toronto, named the warchief Rob Ford. He smoked crack, befriended blowgunners and blew up his own city.
>As another reviewer simply noted, you can beat up monkeys and steal their money.
>The Haitians hoped that their new ironclad warships would be their knights in shining armor. They turned out to be their morons in aluminum foil.
>The story of the original Thanksgiving is full of lies, propagated by the capitalist pigs in Washington. The true story goes as follows. In 1603, Shogun Tokugawa wanted to construct a new shogunate palace. He sent a group of Japanese pilgrims across the ocean. A few years later, they landed on Plymouth in New England, an excellent place for a new shogunate palace. There, they befriended a native scout and his pet intrepid scout turkey. Shortly thereafter, a group of allied Chinese pilgrims came ashore and set up shop alongside them. The Japanese and Chinese came together for a great turkey dinner. HOWEVER… The French and the Ottomans landed around the same time and did not take kindly to what they saw as encroachment upon their lands. A great war ensued in which the Chinese and Japanese ultimately prevailed. In the end, a great Thanksgiving feast was held in the new shogunate palace with Tokugawa as the host.
>You can beat up the British and steal their tea.
>You can beat up the French and steal their military victories.
>You can beat up the Dutch and steal their tulips.
>You can beat up the Portuguese and steal their secret liquor.
>You can beat up the Spanish and steal their dogs.
>You can beat up the Germans and steal their beer.
>You can beat up the Ottoman Turks and steal their turkey.
>You can beat up the Russians and steal their vodka.
>You can beat up the Iroquois and steal Hiawatha’s poetry.
>You can beat up the Sioux and steal Gall’s gallbladder.
>You can beat up the Aztecs and steal their bottled blood.
>You can play as the Japanese and steal your allies’ food.
>You can beat up the Chinese and steal their many inventions and claim them as your own.
>You can beat up the Indians and steal their elephants and then beat up their sacred cows.
The campaigns of the base game and The Warchiefs expansion provide an interesting story that follows the Blacks, a family of mostly brutal dark magic thieves. They can create entire armies and civilizations that a can appear and disappear within an hour. However, they end up being known and portrayed as heroes as they more often than not beat up bad guys and steal their stuff. The Asian Dynasties have similar stories but are completely unrelated to the Black Family.
Blood – As Morgan Black,
>Beat up the Ottomans and steal their cannons.
>Beat up pirates and steal their maps.
>Beat up the Spanish and steal their money.
>Beat up the Knight’s Templar and steal their water.
Ice – As John Black,
>Mock your uncle Stuart’s lack of masculinity despite the fact that he packs the most powerful right hook punch in the entire New World.
>Beat up the Cherokee and steal their cannons.
>Beat up the rogue British and steal back your damsel-in-distress girlfriend Nonahkee.
>Pursue a rogue British general across North America with a fleet of monster trucks.
>Finally, blow yourself up and prevent the Knight’s Templar from leading a Russian invasion of America.
Fire – As Nathaniel Black,
>Beat up the British and steal their colonies.
>Beat up the Hessians and steal back your damsel-in-distress mother Nonahkee.
>Win the Revolutionary War with giant stone busts of George Washington that crush and trample entire armies.
>Level the British forts at Yorktown with these colonial titans while they proclaim, “Check in your wallet. That’s me on the dollar bill.”
Steel – As Amelia Black,
>Beat up rival companies and steal their railroads.
>Beat up the Sioux and steal their land.
>Beat up the Knight’s Templar and steal their money.
Shadow – As Chayton Black,
>Beat up the Sioux again and steal their land.
>Beat up a Civil War veteran and steal his money.
>Beat up General George Armstrong Custer and steal his mullet.
Japan – As General Kinchiro (Batman),
>Beat up Japanese daimyos and steal their land.
>Note: The Japanese can run mid-19th century steam trains in the early-17th century.
China – As Captain Huang,
>Beat up pirates, Indians, and Aztecs with your shirtless partner Lao Chen, and then completely cover up your presence.
India – As a sepoy named Nabir,
>Beat up your own countrymen and steal everything they have.
>Shoot your commanding officer’s bodyguard and just walk away.
>Beat up the British and steal their saltpeter.
>Beat up the British and steal back your elephants.
11/10. If you don’t have the money to buy this game, beat up someone and steal their money.