I spent $0.74 during the waning minutes of the Summer Sale just so I could point out just how incredibly, incredibly gay this game is. Sure I could just do a "status" and tag it with this game, but I feel the "Recommendation" feature is a much more robust platform for my voice as a gamer.
This game is exceedingly, insanely, brutally, extremely gay. Keep in mind that this is coming from someone who not only bought, but also plays and enjoys Faerie Solitaire.
Let's just try to itemize the gay ♥♥♥♥♥♥ry surrounding this game:
ABOUT THE GAME:
"Take Storm on a wonderful adventure . . . " <-- gay
" . . . in his magical teacup." <-- gay
"Storm's brother Cloud . . . " <-- gay
" . . . has created an amazing . . . " <-- gay
" . . . dream-like world . . . " <-- gay
" . . . for you to explore"<-- not quite gay, but condescending
"!" <-- gay
"Solve puzzles, avoid pitfalls and beat the bad guys . . . " <-- gay
" . . . in this imaginative . . . " <-- gay
" . . . and unique platformer" <-- gay
"!" <-- gay
"Wonderful, rich rewarding game-play with physics based puzzles" <-- gay, gay, gay, with physics based gayness
"Explore and discover 50 magical levels" <-- gay
"5 Survival mode levels to compete against" <-- not gay, but good job reasserting the tyranny of fundamental patriarchal competition further exacerbated by capitalist western societies. So gay on a meta-level
"Customize in-game Storm character options <-- probably gay
"Rich, gorgeous, graphics" <-- extremely gay
"Full Joypad support" <-- consoles are usually gay
Notice how I have not yet touched upon the actual design of the so-called "magical" levels nor the allegedly "rich [and] rewarding" game-play. That's because at this particular point in time I have no intentions whatsoever of ever installing this game, let alone actually playing it.
Anyway if you ever need to learn how to mince about, just keep reading and re-reading the store page out loud and I guarantee eventually you'll be mincing harder than Scott ♥♥♥♥in Thompson.